Last week, MrB and I both had business in Miami, so we decided to spend a few extra days in South Beach for relaxation. I hadn’t been there since 2008, and either my memory is failing or the place has totally changed. To the best of my recollection the dress code during my last visit was not “the world is your gynecologist and Snooki is your stylist,” but that certainly seemed to be the policy now. Every pair of shorts showed cheek in the back and cameltoe in the front. And that was just the men! As for the women, I had time to study acres of overexposed skin under harsh daylight and have determined that 99.5% of women over the age of 16 have cellulite. So you can all stop worrying about it because everyone is the same. Personally, I’ve never worried about cellulite much because out of sight is out of mind. I once told my drag-queen aerobics instructor that I didn’t care about stuff that was happening in back of me because I didn’t have to look at it. S/he gave me an eyeroll and said, “Well, I have to look at it.” I replied, “Bitch, good thing I’m not you.”
In Miami, MrB and I stayed at the Gansevoort Hotel, which struck me as funny. Back in the ’80s, the only things on Gansevoort Street in New York were tranny hookers (or aerobics instructors) and a 24-hour restaurant named Florent, where the tranny hookers often ate. Getting to Florent involved taking a cab — it was too scary to walk around there so door-to-door service was a must — and attempting to explain to the bewildered driver exactly where this mystery street was. Now that area is so gentrified everyone knows where Gansevoort is. The New York Gansevoort Hotel describes itself as a “luxury urban resort.” And it has expanded to Miami. From complete wasteland to Miami — Gansevoort Street has come a long way.
On Monday, we had dinner at STK in the hotel. I’ve eaten at STK in New York. It’s about a block away from Gansevoort Street. I was starting to wonder if I’d even left New York, but then I saw some dimpled cheeks hanging out of a pair of short shorts and realized that I was, indeed, in Miami.
What Wendy Wore on Monday
Top: Alexander McQueen (2010)
Jeans: Acne
Shoes: Louis Vuitton (2003)
Ring: My own Cleves Black Swan design
Lipstick: So Chaud by MAC
Tuesday night, we had dinner at Philippe. There’s also a Philippe in New York. By then, I was enjoying the weather and getting used to the nudity, so I decided I was in favor of moving every single thing in New York to Miami.
What Wendy Wore on Tuesday
Dress: Vintage Clovis Ruffin (previously seen here)
Shoes: Louis Vuitton, same as above
Necklace: My own Queen of Scots design
Lipstick: So Chaud by MAC
On Wednesday, Paul said something to me about “heat” and “thunder.” I was disappointed by the prospect of bad weather but much more disappointed when I found out we were going to a basketball game. Sports fans scare me. All that drinking and yelling is stressful. I wasn’t too impressed with that LeBron guy either. He seemed more exciting the time I spotted him in the ladies’ shoe department at Bergdorf Goodman when he was still deciding on a team. The juxtaposition of basketball guy and Prada shoes was interesting. Well, at least I got to enjoy a hot dog. I love hot dogs!
What Wendy Wore on Wednesday
T-shirt: Splendid (2010)
Pants: J. Brand (2010)
Necklace: My Queen of Scots design
Shoes: Vera Wang Lavender (2010)
Purse: Louis Vuitton (2001)
Lip color: Lasting Lust by MAC
Before the game, we found further proof that all of New York is being shipped to Miami when we stumbled upon our gorgeous NYC-based friend Sharon. She was staying at the Gansevoort with her gorgeous girlfriends Sara, Tina and Jill. On Thursday, we all went to dinner at Il Gabbiano, which is excellent and, to the best of my knowledge, is not a New York export. I drank so much I forgot to take a full outfit picture, but you’ve seen this leopard dress before. I was proud of myself for packing two animal print dresses. That’s me going wild in Miami for you.
What Wendy Wore on Thursday
Dress: DVF
Shoes (unseen): Louis Vuitton, as seen above
Lip color: Lasting Lust by MAC
Expression: Drunk
On Friday night, we had dinner at OLA, which I highly recommend, especially if you love ceviche. Afterwards, we paused for a last outfit picture near our hotel. Some shambling old dude tried to steal MrB’s wallet while MrB was taking my picture. The dude was probably from New York. We were onto him; he went away disappointed.
What Wendy Wore on Friday
Dress: James Perse (2002)
Shoes: Same Louis Vuittons I wore all week
Necklace: There’s that Queen of Scots piece again
Purse: I’m really tired of this Louis Vuitton. I have to retire it for a while.
Lip color: Take a guess!
Expression: Watchful
I only got fully dressed once during the daylight hours, when I went to get a sneak peak at a restaurant called Trio on the Bay, which is opening next month. It’s a Miami original, not a New York export, and has the most beautiful outdoor space on the water. I immediately wanted to rent it for a private party. Now I just need to think of an excuse! I had a nice long talk with one of the partners about his commitment to good service. That’s the kind of thing I like to hear. Definitely check out Trio if you’re in town. On all the other days, I wore gym clothes to work out at the nightclub-like, imported-from-NYC David Barton Gym. There was no sign of the recent bankruptcy filing by the parent company of the gym chain — just dim lights, loud music and scarily muscled people. Then I switched into non-short-shorts and a bathing suit to sit by the pool, where I worked feverishly on maintaining my pallor and inspecting everyone’s thighs. There is no photographic evidence of such daytime outfits, by my command. You’ll have to use your imagination. While you’re using it, make sure you give me really firm thighs. Hey, that’s how I imagine them!
I really love that vintage Clovis Ruffin, it’s perfect. I love Miami too, a lot. I think the skimpier and more bodycon it gets there, the better. Somehow all that body culture makes me feel relaxed? It’s the tackyness, shhhh, tackyness makes me feel relaxed. No more of this good taste stress! I remember watching an argument about high heels there, on a street corner. And a lot of very confidant almost naked people. And good food.
Yes, after I got over the shock, I found it relaxing too! But, based on some of the fashion statements I saw, there is such a thing as too much self-esteem.
Love the LV shoes! I was in SoBe in Dec. for a story and stayed at The Palms. It felt so un-So Be I thought SoBe had turned family-oriented. In a way, I’m relieved to know it’s still for the clubbers (even though the clubbers look like Snooki now).
I cringe at the thought of any families seeing what I saw!
Hi my dear-what an array of gorgeous outfits, particularly love both leopard print dresses and sounds like you had a fabulous time too! Miami sounds like my place indeed, just like Essex but we don’t have the permanent gorgeous weather!!
Hmmm….. I had si many things to say but by the time I typed in the captcha I forgot. It’s the dementia. One thing I do remember is how damn hot you look in each photo. Oh and you are so right about the cellulite. I used to organize fashion shows and remember thinking “wow! Even models have cellulite”. Phew!
xxx
You are SO glamorous! I went to Orlando for a conference in 2008 and I now understand why so many death metal bands evolved out of Florida!
Hehehe. A man’s shorts with camel toe sounds painful. I would have been irked by being forced to watch sports too, but similarly can be bribed into doing most things with some form of food.
Your LV gold shoes are absolutely beautiful. Just what I need (need!) but as my budget right now is about 50p I suspect they are out of my reach x
You might very well stumble across something like those shoes in a thrift shop for 50p as they’re 8 years old and in pretty bad shape these days!
Wendy…you look fabulous in all your outfits….sounds like a great time!!! LOVE the top in the first pic:)
As someone who grew up in Miami, I have to say it’s a cultural wasteland and I F-ing hate it. I couldn’t get out fast enough (I left at 28) and wouldn’t go back if you paid me. I still have half my family there and told them to never expect to see me unless I’m forced to go for work. Once you get away from
South Beach, which has at least some marginal interest, it’s just shitty boring suburbs.
Let me tell you how I really feel! LOL!
i conch-cur on the LV chaussures. great outfit choices…classy with just the right hit of saucy! meowww!
Wendy, for whatever reason, this post reminds me of how much I adore you (maybe it’s the fact that I just ended a Jersey Shore binge, and Miami is just SPEAKING to me right now). In any case, I’m glad you had a lovely vacation, double-animal-print, New York imports, and all.
Loving that Clovis Ruffin frock on you.
xxx
I love what Wendy wore in Maimi – great choices. For me Maimi has changed beyond all recognition. I spent a lot of time there when I was assisting and even lived on Lenox Ave for a while. It used to be a wonderful eclectic place. Last time I was there I cried, I felt the soul had been ripped out of it. What they are doing to the streets below 5th is shameful. Instead of reviving the wonderful art deco they are wiping it away or swamping what is left by high rises. I agree it feels very trashy now. Xxxx
I’m glad you noticed the trashiness too. I was so confused, wondering if it had always been like that and somehow I just didn’t notice?
Hey! You shortened your tiger dress! The last time I saw you in that—in person—was at Ago! I love that dress.
I love the new McQueen top. Grey, black and yellow in combination look so good on you!
Your hair is getting so long, I love that too!
I think I love everything today.
You’re just a very loving person!
I’m into the hair too. For a while, I was bored with it and kept thinking of going shorter, but I’ve done every short style. That seemed even more boring. So now I’m going with long! Also, it’s much easier to attach faux-ny tails to longer hair.
you look very very beautiful in all your outfits.
i missed South Beach. I was there 3 months ago 🙁
girl! you are amazing and i love the outfit posts:)
If you find yourself in the Meatpacking district in the wee hours on a weekend, you’ll think that you were back in SoBe. The crotch fashions are here too. How these two neighborhoods became interchangeable…I don’t know.
The Meatpacking district is explained by the appearance of people from Jersey (I’m from Jersey, I can say any shit about Jersey people that I like) and SoBe reminded also reminded me of Jersey. We Jersey people are taking over the world and RUINING IT.
I mainly come here to learn new words, like cameltoe and bodycon, and to learn about interesting people I’ve never heard of before, like Snooki and LeBron. Plus, I didn’t realize South Beach was actually a place. I thought it was a diet!
SoBe sounds like Venice Beach, CA, but with humidity.
Call me boring but I love the Perse dress best with the Roman chariot racer looking LV shoes. I am madly in love with the Queen of Scots necklace!
That opening paragraph is priceless. You look Miami-appropriate but appropriately covered-up in all these outfits. Way to represent New York, Wendy.
I felt woefully overdressed! I now regret not going out to dinner in my bikini like everyone else.
My favourite part of this blog is when you talk about 80s era NYC.
Would love to hear your thoughts on the newish Patti Smith memoir, Just Kids, which is all about living at the Chelsea Hotel with Robert Mapplethorpe circa 1970. Crazy times!
You are hilarious!
You look fabulous in that tiger print dress. I forgot how much I love it and need more of it in my life.
One of the few things I had an absolute fit over when I was a kid was a fake tiger fur coat.
God bless hot dogs.
I love your amazing gold sandals, Wendy! And that McQueen top makes me swoon. Sounds like you had a fun time. Hope you enjoyed the Southern heat.
That leopard dress is amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The nightclub gym sounds terrifying x
Sounds like you had an amazing time. I love your looks, especially your tiger dress. Grrr.
I used to go to Miami all the time in the early 1990s. I had a flight attendant friend who lived there and we would make a beeline to South Beach to check out the pretty people. My friend was obsessed with Madonna so he was convinced that we would run into her and Ingrid Casares. We even ate at the restaurant that she (Madonna)owned (spent $200 on a meal there and then went out for pizza afterward!!). Love the outfits and if you get bored with the LV, you can toss it my way 😉
I think that was the best time for Miami. Pre-Versace murder. Saw a quote from Ingrid in a local glossy, so she’s still kicking around. Think it said she’s on Coral Gables being a soccer mom?
Ahh, those LV shoes are favorites of mine! I recall sitting at a sidewalk cafe on Ocean Drive around 2004 and being amazed at the spandex/short hemlines . . .
Ah Miami, close to my old hauntings Las Vegas I would say. Where there are two worlds coexisting together on and off the strip. What you’ve described here, is what is going on in Vegas, except it not close to the beach!
Every outfit is sublime! As is your sense of humor.
The Clovis is still great. Looks so right on you.
And I think you know those are my favorite shoes!
Looking good…. legit. Snooks. xoxo
Sadly I just spent a lot of time thinking of how guys get cameltoe. My friend explained to her traditional Italian mom the term and now she is much more aware of the danger of wearing polyester pants. Thank goodness.
Nice animal prints… though I fully expected a booty shot thrown in as an extra!
I certainly felt foolish for not bringing any booty shorts.
What a fabulous array of outfits, accessories and lovely smiles!
I laugh at your observations because I made the same observations the last time I was there.
Love your McQueen top!