Wendy Brandes Jewelry Blog

Never Is the Next New Thing

It’s Official: My New Hero Is Antoine Dodson

by

In case you’ve lost track of the cast of characters in my life, here it is:

I haven’t had a hero since 2008 when comedian Katt Williams went crazy. I thought of placing some ads on Craigslist for a new hero, but highlarious blogger Michael K. of Dlisted saved me from that effort by bringing Antoine “you can run and tell that” Dodson to my attention. Antoine is a true sister-rescuing hero who wears a do-rag with aplomb and has no patience for dumb-asses who go around “snatching your people up.” Basically, he’s Lafayette from True Blood with even more sass and class.

Watch this local news report on how Antoine saved his sister from a rapist.

I’m disappointed that the uptight white newscasters don’t react in any way to Antoine’s bravura performance. This kind of report calls for anchors who aren’t scared to do a little editorializing. Tom Tucker and Diane Simmons from Family Guy would have known how to handle this.

Peeps need to step up their game when Antoine’s in the house!

UPDATED TO ADD: Here’s part 2 where Antoine gives the description of the attacker, including his Caesar haircut.

“Are you serious, my boy?” is the saying that is going to sweep the nation.

UPDATED AGAIN WITH MORE LINKS:

And Antoine’s official Q&A!

UPDATED SEPTEMBER 5, 2010, TO ADD: Amazing! The “Bed Intruder Song” has cracked the Billboard 100. And, yes, the creators are splitting the profits with Antoine.

UPDATED SEPTEMBER 27, 2010, TO ADD: You can pre-order the “Bed Intruder” Antoine Dodson Halloween costume from Antoine’s website.

UPDATED OCTOBER 24, 2010, TO ADD: Sadly, gorgeous blogger Jeno from Marbella Style was burgled. In his hour of need, he turned to the story of Antoine Dodson for support. While doing so, he discovered new variations of the Bed Intruder Song. Check out the marching-band and acoustic versions and leave Jeno some good thoughts.

UPDATED OCTOBER 25, 2010, TO ADD: And the hits keep coming!

You might also like
Mean Boys and Rough Jewelry
Courtney Love Is a Gateway Drug
Jewel of the Month: Inspired by Lil Nas X

Reader Interactions

Comments

  5. Wendy, I think I love you because of this. We’ve been laughing in the office all day at this clip. You know there’s a 2nd version as well and it may be even better than this one. He gives a description of the attacker, “5-9, 5-10 with a coffee colored complexion, a low cut like a Caesar with some waves in it.” I DIED. If you haven’t seen it please go to Bossip.com

    • I did see it! I’ve been meaning to add the video here. Kelly was ON. My favorites: “This isn’t because I’m pretty…I know that!”

      Also “Are you SERIOUS, my boy?” is my new catchphrase.

  6. I don’t know why “snatching your people up” made me LLOL when I read it but I read it but it does. Excuse me while I go hide my son and husband.

  7. I haven’t seen this clip yet, because I think it’s NSFW–not in the indecent sense, but because I will start laughing my butt off out loud. I’ll definitely have to catch this!

  11. my husband emailed this to me yesterday from his work. sometimes i wonder if he really works or just entertains himself all day there (just kidding). this is too funny!
    also, thanks for your comment on my shoe diy. i laughed my head off when i read your “depends on if you want to walk around thinking “there are tacks in my shoes” remark. lol
    xx

  17. WENDY OMG…. It’s hard to make me laugh and I COULD NOT STOP laughing. This post link is going right on my facebook. My friends who live around the Trenton, NJ area will really know how to appreciate it…

    ps..is it just me or would this guy make a REALLY good fashion critic?!

    • omg I just want to clarify I did not mean that in a bad way whatsoever… but I’m thinking it sounds bad! All I mean is to say, that is how we play talk here in central jersz’!!! : )

  21. Why is British news NOT like this?! I rarely ever laugh out loud to news but I did! I hope that they find the guy, after all they have his shoes.

  22. I”m laughing a lot right now, can hardly type. How do you do it, WendyB? Find all of these unique, amazing things to put onto your blog? You’re something else!

  23. I love the “I know you want somethin… I know it ain’t just cuz I’m pretty.” THAT, is priceless. Not that she’s not, because with a little mascara and some lipgloss I’m sure she’d look great. Just the way she said it.

    She’s awfully calm for someone who was almost a victim of rape, don’t you think?

  25. This post is awesome. Local news is awesome. Antoine needs to be filmed commenting on ANYTHING.

    It’s a bit funny that a reporter by the name of Elizabeth Gentle was talking about rape.

  27. Hi my dear!! Am going to try and be back now, lol!! Have been following your posts, even though not commenting-that black halo dress is just so sexy, looking lovely as ever! Hope you’re having a lovely summer and am really sorry I missed you this year, but your emails did inspire me to eventually come back to blogging-so a big thanks my dear 😉 x

  28. Take me higher LAWD!!! “Hide yo husband, they raping errybody out here!” This is priceless, Antoine is a friend in my head!

  30. Antoine is a breath of fresh air.

    So are Tom Tucker and Diane Simmons. I think all newsreaders should editorialize, don’t you? (Shhhh, don’t tell Mr.B I said that!)

    (my captcha is “idolcoco!”)