Minx Manicure #3: J.Lo, Beyonce and WendyB*

I don’t get manicures as often as I should, considering that wearing large rings is a requirement for my business and people are always looking at my hands. I get so bored during manicures that I delay until I realize that broken-off nails of varying lengths are distracting people from the beauty of, for instance, my Nefertiti poison ring.  I’ve found it easier to get motivated when an ultra-shiny Minx manicure is a possibility. Since I got my first Minx before a special occasion in November, I can hardly wait for the next event that calls for fabulous fingernails.

Minx manicure #1: Silver, shown with Wendy Brandes Swear Rings

I like Minx because it’s perfectly opaque and shiny. Plus there’s no drying time. Minx is not a polish; it’s a film that’s applied with heat to the nails. As soon as it is sealed to the nails and shaped, you’re ready to go. No need to worry about chips or smudges.

I got my second Minx manicure in a gold pattern for New Year’s Eve.

Minx #2 for New Year's Eve. Photographed by Tina Anderson.

Having my photographically talented friend Tina take the photo above turned out to be an act of genius — as did deleting the aside about how I could never be a hand model, complete with a clip from the hand-model episode of Seinfeld — because the Minx people saw it and loved it so much that they asked to use it in their publicity kit. Tina and I agreed to let Minx use the picture in exchange for manicures and … Voila! I’m a hand model!

For my third Minx manicure, arranged by the Minx peeps, I chose a disco-ball look in honor of the Lady Gaga concert I’ll be going to this week. It turned out that this pattern is a limited edition and too expensive to be produced in commercial quantities. According to the Minx publicist, only Jennifer Lopez and Beyonce have gotten to wear it and now, me! So, when you go to Fifi Nail Salon to get your Minx done (Rina did mine, but you can also ask for Irene, the owner of the salon, as well as Monica or Josie), don’t expect to find the disco-ball pattern available.

Close-up photo by Tina Anderson.

From left to right, I'm wearing the Juana Peekaboo Skull Ring, Gravity Band, Gravity Engagement Ring, Borgia Poison Ring. Photo by Tina Anderson.

Tina got a Minx style that WILL be available. It’s from the “teaser” line and each one has two colors in it. The nails appear to be different colors in depending on the light and angle. Tina’s choice was a blue and red combination and I like that her picture shows tiny dots of both colors at once. At some angles, it’s really, really blue.

Tina's self-portrait with Minx and my Marie Antoinette ring.

A friend of the Minx publicist got a gold fishnet pattern. I had her model my Juana peekaboo skull ring.

My Juana Peekaboo Skull Ring with gold fishnet Minx. Photo by Tina Anderson.

Minx is not a DIY project unless you have more than two arms (and training). The FAQ is here and the salon locator is here. For my next Minx, I want to get the new metallic blue color. I think it should go well with a vintage ’20s blue velvet dress that I haven’t worn yet. Good excuse to haul out a new-old dress!

Separately, while I was having Tina take photos of body parts, I forced her to document a recent injury of mine.

Ouch!

If I told you how I got that, you wouldn’t believe it, so I’m not going to tell you. I assure you it was an accident and you don’t need to round up a posse to beat some bitch’s ass on my behalf. But thanks for offering! The great thing is that because Tina put all these photos on TinyPic, you can now order a mug or a child’s t-shirt or some other item with this image on it. Remember, Valentine’s Day is coming up. You’ll want to get WendyB jewelry for the person you love most. … and you’ll want to get a picture of my wounded arm on a trucker hat for the person you love least. Get on it!

UPDATED TO ADD: I talked about how long Minx lasts on my first Minx post but figured I’d reiterate it here.  There is no such thing as a permanent manicure. Your nails grow and are exposed to constant abuse. You’re not going have pristine nails for six weeks. You’re paying for a fabulous look, not some kind of manicure miracle. My first manicure lasted two weeks and my second one lasted a week. Also, the Minx film needs to be removed with care, under heat. Don’t yank it off! The skills of the manicurist matter too.

*UPDATED AGAIN TO ADD: The Minx publicist just let me know that another celebrity has gotten her little fingers on my limited-edition disco-ball nails: Paris Hilton! I love you anyway, Minx people. We’ll just pretend we never had this conversation.