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Friday, October 29, 2010

Last month, I skipped participating in No Makeup Week. It seemed unnecessarily puritanical and you know how I feel about Puritans. “Oh, I’ve been looking too good! Now I have to show the world how I can look shitty,” is not the way I think. Nor do I believe that unflattering photos are so challenging to take that we must create a week’s worth of opportunities for such shots. If you find yourself longing to look like crap in front of a camera, I suggest that you visit your local Department of Motor Vehicles — the cheerful employees there will help you get your fix no matter what week it is.

Personally, I have no fear that I am so dangerously addicted to makeup that I need an intervention. I often spend all day with no makeup on. I have none on now. Even though I have accidentally fallen asleep while wearing my MAC Pro Longwear Lipcolor in Lasting Lust, I don’t deliberately apply it before I go to sleep and then pile more on top of that in the morning. I am not Tammy Faye Bakker. I am just a feminist who believes the political, economic and social equality of the sexes is not contradicted by my preference for red lips. In fact, over the years, many men have told me that they prefer me without the red lipstick because I look more “approachable” and “softer.” At the same time, I’ve had women telling me that I’m wearing the red lipstick just to please men. Clearly, no one is pleased except me, so I’m going to continue to live by my Wear What You Want™ policy when it comes to makeup choices.

That said, I did wind up with one makeup-free photo last month. Gorgeous blogger Jennine from The Coveted was my house guest for most of September. Near the end of her stay, she bought me a hat as a thank you. We had recently gone to a movie together and seen this Intel commercial before the previews.

After the commercial, I leaned over to Jennine and muttered, “Just what the world needs. Fast penguins.” So Jennine got me a penguin hat and insisted on taking a picture of it on me immediately.

Laughing -- sans fards -- in my new penguin hat.

I think I’m going to wear this hat whenever I see Jennine this winter. She’ll be sorry that she turned me into a fast penguin when she has to be seen with one in public!

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29 Responses to “No Makeup, Fast Penguins”

  1. Vyque says:

    sans fards is my favorite phrase of all time.

    I don’t have an unhealthy addiction to make up, but I may need to cute myself off from Photoshop :O

  2. lisa says:

    I think I love you even more if that’s possible. The first two paragraphs of this post are brilliant.

    P.S. You’re gorgeous with or without makeup!

  3. Well, thanks for the no-make-up photo …

    but it is a good hat.

  4. Lara says:

    Cold day in hell before I ever participate in No Makeup Week! Totally agree with what you’re saying here. Your signature is red lips and mine is cat eyes. Sure, I’ll go out without them done but I feel more put together and more myself when I do them. I don’t feel like I’m trying to please anyone but myself. Thankfully, I’ve found the equivalent to your longwear lipstick for liquid eyeliner and it only takes a second to touch ’em up in the morning.

    It’s all about feeling your best!

    Love the hat!

  5. Lara says:

    just FYI: Here’s the eyeliner. It’s cheap drugstore stuff but it does not budge. Only problem is that it dries out in the tube quickly and gets a little too thick to apply nicely. I have to replace mine about once a month. I LOOOOVE this stuff!


  6. Lord, I love this post. (Written as I sit here sans makeup, knowing i have to get the spackle out shortly for a function tonight.) You are spot-on in terms of what wearing it, or not wearing it, does & doesn’t define.

    And the hat? Awesome. We need to sell them.

  7. Eli says:

    I have no problem not wearing makeup, I think all women look fine without it and shouldnt let others freak them out about it. I like the way my skin feels without it. Some people look too deep into things, we shouldnt be made to feel guilty because we choose or choose not to wear makeup

    Although I can attest that my dmv photo at the moment is probably the ugliest of me ever

  8. jennine says:

    ooh my, i missed no makeup week… though i did do a no-makeup shot completely unrelated, and yes, it took a million shots and a million different lighting for me to get a shot that didn’t scare people!

    you on the otherhand, look pretty much the same with no makeup, unless you’ve been done up by a makeup artists, then you look fabulous times ten!

    oh! i will not be embarrassed with you in the hat. i once let my friend mothra walk three blocks down market street with a gum wrapper sticking out of his nose.

    true story!

  9. Cameron says:

    I’ll pass on No Makeup Week; I can go without most things, but my eye makeup stays in the picture!

    Also, didn’t Dolly Parton also once state she went to bed with makeup on?

  10. Brie says:

    I am like you. I don’t understand the purpose of showing a crappy, no make-up, photo of myself to the world. We all look bad every once and a while (see driver’s license photos of most people the world for bad photo) but why stick your no make-up, less than gorgeous, face forward and demand people say nice things about it? I don’t get the concept beyond it is hugely looking for attention and ego-stroking because, really, we all look fine without make-up but make-up can add an extra pop to our appearances.

    I will never put a photo of me sans make-up online. Hell, I will never put a less than flattering photo of myself online and will really ream people out if they decide to do so for me because the online world can be a nasty place full of trolls who want to pick apart how one looks so the troll can feel better about themselves. The real world is judgemental enough so why open one’s self up to negativity online, from complete stranger? That idea baffles me.

    Just my opinion on the subject and opinions are like buttholes…we all have one. 🙂

    • WendyB says:

      Ha! You tell it like it is. You’re right about the ego-stroking. It is sort of demanding that we all go around saying, “You’re so beautiful, totally naturally!” Which is a little like thinking every child is exceptionally smart and gifted…I hate that kind of thing too.

      • Ya. My 2-month-old kid has started saying “hi, hewo and i wuv ooo” and everyone says, “he’s a genius! he’s a gifted child!!” and i’m, like, “nah, he’s just talkative.” and then everyone looks at me like i’m a bad parent. but geez, i love my baby but until he’s shown genius then let’s not call him that!!!

        sorry for the small letters–i’m typing with one hand!

        p.s. is this also a no-nail-polish photo???

      • Brie says:

        Thanks…I was afraid of being “jumped” because I see it that way, hence my “Just my opinion…” tack on to the end of my comment.

        How fitting my Anti-spam word was “Overdue” which someone address the “ego-stroking” of the whole thing was.

    • OMG, I was telling someone this exact same thing a few weeks ago and they thought I was nuts.

  11. Audi says:

    I couldn’t get into No Makeup Week either. Fuck it, I like to look my best if I’m going to have my picture taken. Your comment about the DMV cracked me up; I could spend hours getting gussied up and those photos would still look like crap!

  12. Winnie says:

    Haha I think you look adorable in that penguin hat!

    Also I’m too used to wearing make up to go without it. I just feel bare without a little bit of eyeliner or something! Totally agree, about the no make up pics, I don’t look too different but I just prefer to wear a little bit!

  13. K-Line says:

    Your first para had me laughing out loud! DMV indeed. And man, it IS puritanical to forgo the lipstick. It’s just not necessary!!

  14. I also passed on the whole No-Make Up Week thing. I feel similarly–I’m not overly dependent on it and don’t use it excessively, so no need for an intervention. That said, you no-make up picture is still very cute.

  15. Mary says:

    No make-up, fuck that! How un-fun would that be?

  16. hiyaluv says:

    no make up = natural and confidence in some places and i am okay with that. i think had i not grown up thinking that i needed to wear make up i would have been find in going without it. not saying that i NEED it to leave the house but I would say that I am more confident with it. And now that I think about it-that could be kind of sad because some could say that make up is like a “mask” or a facade. Perhaps I am way out there with this comment? regardless of make up or not, the penguin hat is too cute.

  17. I went makeupless yesterday to go to the doctor so she could see my skin. Three people on the street asked me if I was sick. Then I told them I purposely went without makeup, and they started to backtrack and tell me how beautiful I am either way. HAHAHAHAHA! Right, suckers.

    • Brie says:

      I get that too when I go out without make-up (Are you sick?)…or when I am in California people ask me if I am “someone famous” because famous people tend to go make-upless when they don’t want to be recognized. The first time I got the “Are you someone famous?” happening to me with the explaination from the person (in disppointed voice when I said no) being “Well, you aren’t wearing make-up so I thought you were. You look great anyway.” I burst out laughing! People are strange.

  18. sharon rose says:

    Hi there- a big lol to “Oh, I’ve been looking too good! Now I have to show the world how I can look shitty,” totally agree with you , this is way unnecessary!! You look the cutest as a fast penguin though! xx

  19. I love it, of course! She’ll rue the day!

  20. No way- Jennine will be jealous when she sees you show up in winter weather in a penguin hat! I love it!

  21. Alicia says:

    This hat is awesome. Promise me you’ll randomly slap several high-fives with her while you’re with her in the penguin hat.

  22. stacy says:

    Puritans are so boring.
    Cutest hat EVER!