I ordered these Louboutins back in July, I think. Whenever they first appeared on Net-a-Porter. Imagine my surprise when they arrived yesterday! Of course, they don’t fit. Now I have to send them back. It’s easier to take the One Ring back to Mount Doom than it is to return something to Net-a-Porter. Wish me…
Unfrozen Caveman Blogger, Back on Display
“One hundred thousand years ago, a caveman was out hunting on the frozen wastes when he slipped and fell into a crevasse. In 1988, he was discovered by some scientists and thawed out. He then went to law school and became… Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer.” That was Saturday Night Live’s introduction for a series of skits…
Thursday Book Club: Empress Wu, Part II
Welcome back to the increasingly erratic Thursday Book Club! In my last real Book Club post, I discussed Empress Wu, the only woman in the history of China to be called “emperor” during her lifetime. Since then, I’ve done a couple of fake Book Club post about Christopher Walken’s ass and books I bought while…
The Middle of the Next Blog
Last night, my husband told a cab driver to stop “in the middle of the next blog, um, block!” We’ve got blogs on the brain, especially me, because I’m knee-deep in unanswered memes. I better get moving. Wardrobe Oxygen tagged me with this one, as did Diana of So Fash’On a while ago. 1. What…
Google Loves Wendy Brandes
I think Google likes me better since I shared the 2001 riding crop photo. Maybe Google wants me to make this my profile picture. Wendy Brandes will dazzle you with her shiny teefs and then beat you with her crop. Seriously, Google, why do we have such a difficult relationship? Right now, if you Google…
Dirt-Cheap Prada
This stunning pink crocodile Prada bag is on sale for $6,742, down from $8,990. Maybe some of you want to chip in and get it for me for Valentine’s! Anyone? Anyone? Fine! Be that way. Speaking of sales, do you want to show-cha your chocha just like WendyB in her sequined gold Antik Batik dress?…
Laugh Your Ass Off
Mel Brooks said, “I cut my finger. That’s tragedy. A man walks into an open sewer and dies. That’s comedy.” He was wrong. A man has terribly painful ass surgery. That’s comedy! I belatedly came across this November post by Bad Bob. I’m glad you’re feeling better, Bad Bob! I hope it helps to know…
Got Milk?
Check out Boobie Wars!* I don’t think I should enter. No one can compete with my amazing bosom. It wouldn’t be fair. Wanna participate? Here are the rules. They don’t seem to be gender-specific, so let’s see if any of you boys out there have man-boobs to rival General Zod‘s. Kneel before Zod‘s cleavage! *This…
Sheer Madness
The last Marc Jacobs show I attended raised a lot of questions in my mind. First, I thought, “Why is this guy so late?” Then I thought, “Where does he get off acting this way?” Then I wondered, “Why didn’t I stay at that nice restaurant and have another drink?” Finally, I asked myself, “Who…
Boob Belt!
Dress by Roberto Cavalli Not for me. I’m going to stick to bows.