My friend Jane suggested that since I successfully brought butt bows back, I should now tackle boob bows. Apparently, Anne Hathaway had a tough time with the boob bow sitch earlier this year. Jane has a now-dormant blog called Boycott the Bag. It had many smart and funny ideas in it, but let’s face it….
insanity
Do You Take This to Be Your Postage?
I went to the post office to mail some of my new catalogs and found this delightful stamp. I was very pleased. Who could resist buying from a jewelry catalog that was adorned with such a beautiful stamp? I was so happy that I looked it up online to share it with you peeps, thereby…
A Kiss Is Just a Kiss
Google must think I’m an expert kisser, since recent blog traffic came from: Dogs can kiss girls She made me kiss her ass how to tell woman that you want to kiss her girl making me kiss her ass I worry about the person who Googled, “why do i always feel like something’s missing in…
Theodoric of York
A while ago, in a comment, gorgeous client Applevenusian mentioned the Theodoric of York, Medieval Barber skit from Saturday Night Live. Thanks to YouTube, you can all enjoy this skit about the medieval barber who treats every ailment with a good blood-letting. This has nearly all of the best SNL players in it, including frequent…
Future Designs
Based on the searches that bring people to my blog, I think there may be high demand for: Meerkat jewelry Glam rock jewelry Adam Ant jewelry Beatles jewelry Batman jewelry 60s blow jewelry Tit jewelry Ass jewelry Cunt jewelry (Peeps, I’m just the messenger here.) Embed from Getty Images
Ten Paces, Turn and Fire
This is for Pistols at Dawn, who dared to say latex was “hot on ladies, scary on dudes.” Well, think again, PAD! David Lee Roth is here to prove you wrong! Embed from Getty Images Apologies accepted.* Quite a few years ago, I spent a pleasant evening with David Lee Roth after meeting him in…
Thanks for Thinking of Me, Roxanne
I just got a spam email from “Roxanne C. Murdock.” She told me to buy “MegaDik,” and assured me, “You won’t believe your eyes when you see your new penis size!” Upon reflection, I decided Ms. Murdock’s email was a little off-target because I wouldn’t believe my eyes if I noticed I had grown any…
Ma Nah Ma Nah
Since Sunday, I’ve had Muppets on the brain. “Ma nah ma nah,” I say in a friendly way to my husband when he comes home from work. “Doo doo doo doo doo,” I yell when he stands in front of the TV. All the big stars used to do The Muppet Show. Having reviewed many…
Thursday Book Club: Caroline Mathilde
Ah, the double standard. When kings fool around, all is right in the world. When queens fool around, it’s treason. Why treason? Because if a queen gets pregnant by a man who is not her husband, a child who is not of pure royal blood could wind up on the throne. In effect, that partly…
Guess What Happens on November 1?
Pumpkins are taken in back of the barn and shot. Great. Now PETA (Pumpkin Euthanasia is Tragic Always!) is going to be all over my ass. In other news — and I know this is going to hurt you much more than it hurts me, as my high school English teacher used to say —…