Wendy Brandes Jewelry Blog

Never Is the Next New Thing

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      • I thought we would shake YOU. You are the one giving the answers. Maybe roll you across the floor, that was another method with the magic 8 ball. 🙂

      • That was my thought when I wrote the post, but upon further consideration, it would make more sense for me to shake the answer out of you. After all, doesn’t everyone know the right decision deep down?

  2. Hmmm … magic balls.

    I once had the quintessential and absolutely necessary Bad Boyfriend .. off we went to the fortune teller and of course he told her fortune.

  3. Hum. I have been struggling with a shoe question. I am about ready to splash out for my first pair of real “big girl” expensive shoes– but what to get? Part of me thinks I should stick with something pretty but plain (e.g. CL simple pumps? though totally ubiquitous) that I can wear to work regularly (I’m a lawyer). Part of me would prefer something awesome and impractical (e.g. sergio rossi strappy heels), though I’d probably only wear them a couple times a year. I have great faith in your sartorial wisdom– please advise.

    • Ooh! How exciting. I remember when I got my first pair of “real” shoes…Prada. I still have them over 15 years later. Thanks for reminding me to bring them to the cobbler! For the first pair of shoes, you should get something you can wear to work — because it’s important to feel good at work. But they don’t need to be blah either. Go for whatever neutral works best with your wardrobe but look for something with a little interesting detail. My pumps had a Mary Jane style strap, but maybe you’ll find a nicely shaped heel or an interesting toe or a buckle. I recommend patent both for style and incredible longevity. All my longest-lasting shoes have been patent. Whenever you’re ready for your second pair, go for something completely awesome and impractical — I think it’s a mistake to ONLY buy basics. Boring! I used to do that. Also I’ve realized that a great thing about infrequently worn shoes is that you will have them FOREVER and they get more interesting with age. Send a pic when you decide!

    • Need more info! Is it in your budget? Would you be here enough to have to pay income tax? If it doesn’t have a negative financial impact, you CAN find better deals now, post-recession. And it’s a great city to be in!

      • When you’re ready to retire, hopefully the real-estate market will be better and you’ll sell your house and studio for decent prices and get a bigger apartment in NYC. Sounds like a great plan to me! That’s what I wish my parents could do now but the income tax would be a problem.

  5. (I swear I’m not 13, but…)
    I like this guy and we’ve gone out like 5 times since June, and he holds my hand and kinda hugs me when we walk together but that’s it. I tried to kiss him the first time we went out and he pulled back so I haven’t tried anything again. I know he’s a bit conservative but this is getting ridiculous, we’re both in our mid-20s. What shall I do?

    • Be realllllly brave and ask him if you’re supposed to be friends or something more. A brief moment of awkward honesty early on is better than wasting time only to have an awkward moment in the end anyway! People aren’t upfront because they think they can avoid the bad part, but it’s a delay of the inevitable. Get your answer so you can either make something happen or move on!

      • That’s actually great advice, I’ll women up and talk to him! Thanks a bunch, Wendy B

      • I speak from experience. Have tried to avoid conversations in order to avoid a bad moment, but if things aren’t meant to be the moment always comes anyway! Learn from my mistakes 😀

  6. I just moved across the country with my fiance for his job. I graduated from college three years ago, but have never found work in my field. I spent the last year working in a flower shop and loved it. I want to keep working with flowers, but everyone I know thinks I should take advantage of my new, much larger city and find a higher paying job doing what I went to school for. I feel selfish for wanting to do something that doesn’t bring in much money.

    • Sounds like you have made your decision but feel pressured by other people. But as you’ve already found, life doesn’t always go as planned. Look at me — my goal was always to be a journalist. I studied English in college, worked at the school paper, and immediately got to work in my field where I stayed for 11 years. I was very focused. And now, lo and behold, I’m a jewelry designer (still using the critical-thinking and communication skills I learned in school and on the job). So even if you do pursue your original field, who’s to say how it will turn out in the long run, especially in this economy? Also, flowers don’t have to be just bouquets — I met someone who was one of the founders of proflowers.com. I’ve met other people who are the favorite flower providers for huge corporate and fashion-industry parties. That can be lucrative! I’d say pursue flowers…but with ambition to make the most of it. Come up with goals and a business plan; then you can tune out the naysayers.

      EDITED TO ADD: Note that a business plan isn’t set in stone either. If I’d bothered to do a business plan in 2005 when I started my jewelry business, there’s no way it would have included the death of my business partner, the collapse of the world economy and the price of gold tripling. So I’m glad I didn’t waste my time! You ALWAYS have to go with the flow. I was struck by this line in a New York Times sports story today: “…it was not really an ending at all. It was just a different beginning than the one she had imagined.” Full story here: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/28/sports/olympics/us-flag-bearer-made-most-of-golden-opportunity.html?smid=pl-share

  7. Heather sort of stole my question- my issue is similar except I’m retiring from 23 years in the military with lots of marketable skills I’m tired of plus a GIA degree (for fun)and I don’t know what to be when I grow up. Your advice to set goals is sound. Thanks. Oh, and Heather- every time you think critically or appriciate something in depth, you use your degree so choose happiness over what makes money.

    • I totally agree that “every time you think critically or appriciate something in depth, you use your degree” — that’s the whole point of education, I think. To give you the chance to do a range of things, not to limit you to a narrow path.

      Liz, I’m still trying to decide what to be when I grow up too 😉

    • I’ve seen products like that before but I’m quite sure none of them were designed by anyone with your unique flair for headwear! I think it’s a good idea. Get in touch with some local organizations or hospitals and see if you can do some kind of partnership with them.

  14. For one day, I let a Magic 8 Ball rule my life. I walked out of the house with one eye painted blue and the other painted red, two different shoes, and my hair unbrushed. Embarrassing. It was a dare.

  15. I am going to Tahiti in January. What do American women wear in Tahiti in January? We will have 3 days in Papeete and 7 days on a cruise ship? Any suggestions?

  16. Hi Wendy. What do you do when a “friend” you’ve never spoken to since early this year continues to insult you on Twitter (without mentions) but continues to steal your blogs layouts’?

    Seems so high school-ish, I know, but she’s behaving like a child. Her insults were sometimes vulgar. I’ve blocked her.

    • Ugh! Some people are just crazy. Blocking is good. There are apps that allow you to mute and filter by keywords as well so that you won’t be able to see if someone retweets her. (I recently tried Tweetlogix for muting but didn’t like how it limited the number of Twitter requests one can make per hour, which doesn’t happen to me on regular Twitter apps. Looking for alternatives!) If her blog copying is bad enough (like if she’s stealing content) you can report her to her hosting company. If it’s a layout you may just want to let it go but I’m saying that without seeing what’s going on. You can email me examples at wbjewelry at hotmail dot com and I can give a more-informed opinion.

      Once in a rare while, I’ve been able to shock a nasty person into silence by confronting them in an unexpectedly calm but blunt way. I still remember an incident at work in the early ’90s when I said to a woman who was always lowkey insulting me, “That’s a really rude thing to say. Why do you say things like that?” She was so surprised she stuttered out the truth: “Well, it’s just that nothing ever seems to rattle you…you have to be vulnerable in SOME way.” Never had a problem with that bitch again. So you could try that kind of thing, but if the person is a true sociopath it won’t have any effect because sociopaths don’t experience shame.

      The most important thing is once you decide how to deal with the above situations, don’t monitor her online activity. Resist! Ignorance truly is bliss 🙂

      • Hi Wendy! I really do think you should start an advice column.

        I have thought about just asking her point blank why she’s attacking me, and now that you’ve successfully done it, then I will ask her when I bump into her the next time. And she’s attacked my eyebrows. I don’t understand why.

        Ignorance is definitely bliss in this case 😉 Thank you, Wendy!

        PS: About the Twitter app, I’m using SocialScope. Their latest app is the Scope app. It’s only in beta mode and invitation-only, but I’m sure you can get an invite. I can mute whoever I want for different time intervals (ranges from hours – forever).

        PPS: Email sent!