Wendy Brandes Jewelry Blog

Never Is the Next New Thing

Kornheiser, Storm and Age-Appropriate Dressing

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Sports network ESPN had a “Jane, you ignorant slut” moment recently when Tony Kornheiser, host of its Pardon the Interruption program, said on his radio show that ESPN television anchor Hannah Storm was wearing “a horrifying, horrifying outfit today. She’s got on red go-go boots and a Catholic school plaid skirt … way too short for somebody in her 40s or maybe early 50s by now.”

According to USA Today, the “kicker” was his comment: “She’s what I would call a Holden Caulfield fantasy at this point.” (I think the kicker was the “…maybe early 50s” line, seeing as Storm is 47.) Kornheiser also said, “She’s got on her typically very, very tight shirt. She looks like she has sausage casing wrapping around her upper body.” Kornheiser is known for what’s been described in multiple places as “humorous criticism of sports figures” but ESPN wasn’t amused by Kornheiser’s badmouthing of a colleague and suspended Kornheiser for two weeks.

Here’s Hannah Storm’s outfit.

Hannah Storm. Source: everywhere.

Here’s Tony Kornheiser.

Source: ESPN

I don’t like this costume-y and matchy-matchy outfit on Storm, but age isn’t the issue. Context is the issue. If Storm were going to the grocery store or a casual dinner out or a sports event as a spectator, she has the legs and figure to carry this off. But on TV shows and networks where viewers might expect a certain gravitas from on-air talent, an anchor or in-studio reporter probably doesn’t want an outfit to say “cute.”  She would be better off with clothes that proclaim “powerful”  or “in charge.” On other shows and networks, the standards are different. If Giuliana Rancic of E! News wore Storm’s outfit, she’d look downright serious.

Giuliana is in the middle. Click for source.

Storm’s context is the “guys who watch sports” demographic. Need I say more about that audience’s conservative mindset? Just check out this NextRound post on “Slutty Outfits on ESPN Sets.” I think the only things that would qualify as non-slutty here are Hillary Clinton pantsuits and burkas. Of course, the pantsuits would be derided as dykey and burkas would be criticized for revealing women’s naughty, sexy eyes. You can’t please all of the people all of the time … and there are places where you can’t ever please them.  I suspect sports television falls into the latter category when it comes to women’s appearances.

This does bring up an aspect of my Wear What You Want™ policy that I’ve mentioned before. My policy is about trying something new and having fun whenever the occasion permits. There are times when, if people don’t like your look, you just say, “Fuck you! You’re the ones with bad taste.”

My leopard dress, scorned by WWD, went on to win a Best Dressed prize at a blogger soiree.

But there are other times when envelope-pushing garb can have a serious effect: you can lose your friends’ respect, your job, your court case or even your life. My new favorite example of inappropriate dressing is the mother of a groom who insisted on wearing a pale, pale, pale, pale … really pale! … pink dress to her son’s wedding. Basically, she was wearing white, with the barest hint of pink . She could have saved a lot of money if she skipped the gown and carried a homemade sign that said, “I’m psychotic!” because that’s the message sent by wearing white to your son’s wedding.

So Wear What You Want™ but be prepared for the consequences and learn how to distinguish minor consequences (Giuliana Rancic doesn’t like your Oscar gown, little kids point and stare at your rainbow-hued Manic Panic hair) from major consequences (your family has you committed, the Taliban beats you mercilessly). If you’re up for dealing with major consequences, more power to you.

As for the Kornheiser vs Storm case, I’m going to take a guess at Hannah Storm’s thoughts in the very order in which she had them. I am qualified to do this based on my years of being abused for wearing red lipstick and heels in conservative workplaces.

  • My top is not that tight.
  • You WISH a woman in a tight top and a schoolgirl skirt would pay attention to you.
  • I never paid attention to you before, but now that you’ve made me notice you, I realize you have a face made for radio.
  • I’m going to get you suspended.
  • See you in two weeks!

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  2. Poochie, you’re WAY younger than Hannah Storm but regardless of age, you wear your skirt with more pizzazz (and when accessorizing, you took your workplace into account). Hannah’s overall look is “all-American tomboy/cute girl next door.” So a fun/daring/interesting look doesn’t really work for her, IMHO. You, however, can wear a cake hat and look fabulous because it’s your style. BTW, I thought of you first when I saw that cherry headpiece in the New York Times story.

  3. Excellent post, WB. I am a “guy who watches sports” but missed Hannah Storm’s outfit in question. Thanks for posting as I didn’t see it elsewhere – not that I was looking.

  5. I almost posted about this event myself yesterday. I think it’s hilarious. ESPN is hardly the epitome of broadcasting and the guy in question is just an idiot saying stuff like that out loud on the air, but really it’s a big hullabaloo about nothing. He should’ve been told off, made to apologize to the woman and that should have been it.

    Her outfit isn’t great in my opinion but it’s not THAT bad (in that it could have been SO much worse), although as you said, it’s not really news standard conservative and too matchy in general, but still.

    In summation, he needs to keep his trap shut when he’s no oil painting himself (I’m pretty sure he’s wearing my old school tie for example) and not be such a bitch and she needs to think more about what she’s wearing on the air.

  6. She looks smokin!

    Ugh. Men telling women what to wear ESPECIALLY aggrieve Miss. Like the idiots who used to say to Miss J when she was younger,”How ’bout a smile honey?” WTF? she looked young, sweet and easily swayed, therefore she owes every strange creep a smile? F THAT!

    Last year, a guy in an elevator said to Miss, “It’s too warm to be wearing gloves.” Miss J gave him a haughty up-and-down and said, “Really sir! You’re wearing Dockers.” Sillyboy. Stay in the shallow end.

  11. This is such a witty post. I love it. It’s hysterical. I especially love Storm’s responses though for the record I do follow PTI and love the volley between Tony and Mike. The comments are really part of his act and a direct apology to Storm and an air should have been enough.

  12. Too funny and spot-on, Wendy. I love the thought process sequence too. Your point about “know your audience” (and not just in the literal sense) is well advised. I’d suspect that a measurable percentage of ESPN’s male viewers get thrown by seeing a woman on TV in anything other than a cheerleader costume. In some venues, I think women are often in a no-win situation when it comes to how they dress.

    It’s also been my experience that when men feel threatened by a women (in the workplace or elsewhere) they use commentary about her appearance to establish their own dominance in the hierarchy.

  13. I’m not crazy about Hannah Storm’s outfit either. I really like Tony Kornheiser, I used to listen to his radio show when he was on local DC radio and I thought he was hilarious. But I think that ESPN was right to discipline him. It wasn’t a matter of sexism, it’s just way out of line for a professional to publicly criticize a colleague like that. Hannah Storm (bad taste aside) has always struck me as smart and dignified, so I bet she accepted Kornheiser’s apology and considers the matter settled.

  14. GIRL that leopard dress is fabulous and let me not get into the deets about your Benjamin dress at the IFB conference cause you make everyone else look like they ain’t on top of their game lol. This whole controversy in espn was started by a bitter man who can’t get laid, can’t have a happy love life and takes out his unhappiness on a women that probably has turned him down several times, isn’t he the one with self esteem problems talking trash like an 8 y/o about his love crush who he bashes and then send love notes to, ughh pathetic.

  15. hahahaha! you are an amazing and witty writer. i am so glad that there is somewhere i can go to get a good laugh. thank you. oh, and i love your “wear what you want™” policy and that hot ass leopard dress!!!

    xxx
    t

  16. it’s amazing what middle aged men will say about middle aged women…once one of my friends (who is nearly 40) said women his age don’t look as good… then he backtracked and said… ‘well, except you.’

    i told him i didn’t care, because my husband is half his age anyway.

    storm’s outfit is pretty not slutty…but man, she has to do something ’bout that necklace.

  21. Oo please I said it before and I’ll say it again you looked fierce in your leopard dress and your red lips are classic. I love red lips as well and don’t plan on toning them down for anyone.

    I guess sometimes you should watch what your wearing like that nutcase at the wedding lol but sometimes F-it! Everyone is different and that’s what makes walking down streets and even looking around at peoples outfits interesting.

    That guy needs to watch what he says, I mean I don’t totally like the outfit but she doesn’t look slutty jeez

    P.S I tagged you a Gorgeous Ladies of Blogging award =)

  23. Great post Wendy – I had no idea exposed knees were considered slutty! Gosh darn it, it sure is tough trying to dress non-slutty these days. Brb, bandaging down my boobs and putting on the biggest track suit I can find! Oh wait, I’d then get slack for being “unfeminine” I suppose.. Shit, I’ll just stay right here in the kitchen to avoid trouble 😉

  24. He must have thought he was pretty clever bashing her outfit like that- but I think it’s pretty strange a man of his age with his job is so concerned with what one of his female colleagues is wearing.

  25. Oh wow… where to begin? First of all, you know my thoughts on Giuliana Rancid…er, uh.. Rancic… whatever. Second, Storm’s outfit is not the most tasteful in terms of ugly factor, but I don’t see the problem with her wearing it. What is this guy talking about… her top is too tight? She has no fat, so I don’t quite get his sausage reference. He is just an angry, balding man who wishes she would give him the time of day. That’s what it’s really about. He can’t have her! *I miss “Jane, you ignorant slut!”

  31. i don’t see what’s wrong with what she’s wearing. i agree it’s a little too matchy matchy but it’s not like she has her tits and ass hanging out.

  32. um, i remember that JANE YOU IGNORANT SLUT comment from when it aired long ago. it was way back when dan akroyd was actually funny (LONG< LONG AGO!).

    i believe in the whole "wear what you want thing", and i also reserve the right to criticize what others wear. ha. yes, i am mean at times. but some people wear stuff that is just all kinds of wrong.

  33. You’re so right. Context is everything. And there’s a time and place for *almost* anything. And some things should just never be donned. Or made.

  36. Great post Wendy! I wholeheartedly agree with you. In this case, I think the whole red boots is what makes this outfit imo a bit OTT for such a conservative venue. I do agree as well with the previous commenter who mentioned that when men feel threatened, the argument always comes back to looks. As someone working in very male dominated industry, I get that comment all the time, it’s very tiresome.

  37. I think her outfit was begging to be mocked! She needs a sense of humor if she’s going to dress that way AT HER AGE. I SAID IT! So I would modify your motto “Wear What You Want TM” with the advisory : But Prepare To Accept the Consequences!”

  38. For some unknown reason this discussion reminds me of the recently discovered youtube Obama/Hill naughty vid…
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMs-p5y6cvo
    I do feel some symp for ole Kornheiser – it must be hellish to wear a uniform everyday of your life with little relief in sight.
    Is he a secret cross-dresser who plays at home in schoolgirl outfits?
    There must be many men who dream of donning a plaid schoolgirl skirt, pleated preferably, but never will have the opp. I’m in tears here.
    Envy is a terrible thing…

  39. i just checked out your online shop… wow! you are amazing!

    and yes, i am loving my hair short right now…. i say do it!

    thanks for stopping by 🙂

    xo
    bravegrrl.blogspot.com

  40. Hey WB, you know, when you mentioned where what you want, I thought about my TM (say what you want and always be honest) with that sometimes comes ………. but I’m okay with it…

    I’m one that loves to wear RED lipstick, but have been told a few times at the work place NOT to wear any, who are THESE people that have issues with our lipstick?

  43. As much as I don’t care for that outfit, those comments about it are shameful! Geez. (I think for me it reminds me too much of my Catholic school days, but for him?) I’m well aware of dressing appropriately since I teach teenagers…I can’t wear anything too short, slutty, etc. (not that I would on a regular basis, anyway). I just never want to look too young!

  44. could not have been written any better my love!that outfit because of the colour would be tricky for anyone whatever their age.
    hope your having a fab weekend Wendy!
    xoxo
    marian.

  45. She is a little too matchy-matchy for my taste, but then so what. She certainly looks good in that style, but not somehow like it is natural on her. Anyway, great post and the thought process sequence is fabulous

  47. Usually, other women are the haters when it comes to criticizing the appearance of other females. The fact that it’s coming from a guy is just extra lame! Why don’t people just live and let live?

  48. You have such a way with words Wendy! Hmmm the outfit definitely wasn’t the greatest choice but he was out of line to publicly criticise her like that. How rude! I completely agree about wearing what you want and regretting it later, I certainly learnt a lot this way too!

  49. Storm’s outfit seems a bit misplaced to me, but I really don’t care in the end. If she’s delivering accurate information in a credible manner, then she’s effective. I think I’d have preferred less red all around in this outfit, and more black, but that’s just me.

  50. Brava lady. I wasn’t a huge fan of her look, but that definitely has nothing to do with her age. Hopefully she owned it and felt hot in it which is the best revenge of all. Although, since I’ve been a rabid PTI fan for years I can’t hate on Tony to much. Wilbon is my fave of the two though!