Wendy Brandes Jewelry Blog

Never Is the Next New Thing

Outfit Post, Almost Starring Jude and Sienna

by

I was amused to read that actors and ex-lovebirds Jude Law and Sienna Miller were spotted last week at the restaurant Emporio, home of my favorite peach sangria.

Jude and Sienna back in the day, before his affair with the nanny broke them up. Not the Fran Drescher nanny. A regular one.

Jude and Sienna back in the day, before his affair with the nanny broke them up. Not the Fran Drescher nanny. A regular one.

My former employer, People.com, earnestly quotes a restaurant source as saying that couple opted to sit out front rather than in a “private seat in the back of the restaurant” as they shared a pizza and a $350 bottle of red wine.

I was at Emporio with my gorgeous friend Rachel last night. Look for a report on that on People.com. It should appear there when hell freezes over. While you wait for that sign of global cooling, I will share a few bits of pertinent information. First of all, there ARE no private seats in the back of the restaurant. It’s a big open room where anyone can look right at you. A chick at the next table over, for instance, threw a shank-eye at Rachel and me as we discussed my vintage Todd Oldham skirt and Todd’s career woes. Bitch, please! It’s not my fault that Todd lost that Old Navy sinecure after 17 months.

Secondly, anyone who orders a $350 bottle of red wine at Emporio has more money than sense. It’s not the kind of place where you go for a $350 bottle of red wine. I wasn’t sure that there was a $350 bottle of wine on the wine list at all, but I forgot to check because I was traumatized by the discovery that peach sangria season is over. It is now red sangria season at Emporio. Beware! The red sangria is good but turns your tongue purple.

I kept my purple tongue out of my outfit photo in order to keep the focus on my velvet Oldham skirt. The over-the-knee Manolo boots are a few years old. Jean of Ghost Tailor altered the J. Crew sweater for me. The Virginia Woolf Whistle necklace is my own design.

I wasn't in a picture-taking mood, but I made the sacrifice for you peeps.

I wasn't in a picture-taking mood, but I made the sacrifice for you peeps.

One thing I’m sure is not on Emporio’s menu is this taste-bud thriller spotted by a friend traveling in Asia.

photo

Diet Cock. Because, as Kate Moss says, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels."

Neither is this special drink, photographed by gorgeous blogger Annie at Buckshot in San Francisco.

iketurner

The drink itself knocks you out. No Roofies required.

No matter what your poison — $350 wine, tongue-coloring sangria, Diet or Classic Cock, or something that packs a real punch — I think we can all agree on one issue: You need to vote for me to win the Blog With the Most Swearing, Blog That is Clearly Contracted to Endorse a Product or Service, and Blogger of the Year categories in the prestigious Drysdale awards right now. Click here to do it.

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  4. I love that people.com’s source “earnestly” said Jude and Sienna were out front. Earnestly indeed. Please.

  5. See, and Juenna could have just paid me $20 and I’d have slapped both of them. Economics, people. There’s a recession on.

    Love you girl!

  6. Nothing like diet cock…as thick as its can. And oh, coconut milk? I’m asian but I don’t drink coconut milk. You’re supposed to cook it. Coconut juice maybe. 🙂
    P.S.
    Coconut juice is good for the kidneys too.
    Besos!

  7. OMG why didn’t I invent the diet cock drink? I’m sorry that peach sangria season is over. Maybe I’ll make you some for Christmas.

  11. And ‘the media’ wonders why they rank so low on the old ‘trustworthy’ index. Honestly.

    You are too funny, and too cute in that skirt!

    Grins & Giggles,
    tp

    PS: I have voted! More than once. Natch.

  12. Shit like this is why you’re my favorite blogger.

    I think I should serve Ike Turners at my home bar. It won’t come with a description…LOL.

  16. “Diet Cock. Because, as Kate Moss says, “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.””

    Diet Cock = lite spunk? It’s all protein anyhow, right?

  18. I thought Emporio was your satellite office. I recently was in the area and couldn’t think of the name so I googled WB and peach sangria and there is was. Love the skirt.

  19. I am cracking up right now.

    You look beautiful! Can’t wait until I’m in NY one day (though I’ll have to time it with peach sangria season) and can share some with you!

  22. I saw Jude Law in Hamlet and loved his performance. He’s a hot piece of ass but looks like an equal pain in the ass to date. I wouldn’t be able to get over the constant roaming eye.

    I just voted for you and it looks like you’re in the lead!

  23. From a celebrity mag editor, I love the insider info on Emporio!

    The skirt is fabulous, the diet cock is hilarious. My husband and I actually have a collection of funny stuff like that from our travels =)

  24. Did you let your hair grow longer? I love it!

    Shot of Henessy & a slap in the face…priceless – ah haha!

    Heading over to vote now darling 😉

    XOXO

  26. I love that your security words often tell me what to do…today is manipedi and I am so in need of one.

    How much for just the slap in the face?

    I adore your skirt!

  38. Too funny! Where did I recently see an article on Todd? The NYT mag, perhaps? Or NY mag? His new beard unnerved me. Mr. C continually threatens to grow such a Victorian beard; I have promised, in turn, to clip it while he sleeps.

  42. Love that my spam word was “manolo”

    Um, this is going to sound so weird and stalkerish, but is the first initial of your friend, Rachel’s last name, “A”? I only ask because I know a Rachel that works for People Style Watch and I wanted to see if this is the same person?! I’m a tad bit creepy…haha!

    Are you going to the BlogHer holiday party thing tonight?? I’d love to meet you!

  44. At least we can rely on you to set us straight on the true story 😉 Love your skirt! Why? because of colors!
    Ps I voted, and everyone here and their brothers LOL!

  49. This is such a great post. This is my first time here at your blog. I found it through someone else’s blog. Very ultra cool. Cheers!

  50. The next time I pick up a diet coke, I might just giggle. How could I ever explain this to friends and co-workers?!?! I’ll just refer them to your site then. =)

    That’s so funny about the resto not having a private back section. First read about this from Perez Hilton’s but obviously, you know more than their team! =)

    Will vote for you soon here!