Gorgeous blogger Tavi of Style Rookie recently posted a link to Washington Post fashion editor Robin Givhan’s column about the uproar du jour over thin models. The column, thankfully, didn’t use the expression “real women” (as in “real women have curves” and, presumably, non-curvy women must be imaginary) but the topic did remind me that I find the expression meaningless and overused. From now on, it is banned. As always, people who use words banned by me by virtue of my authority as Easily Annoyed Person will be Despensered.
This is Despensering.
I would also like to ban further manufactured outrage over the craptastic Photoshop work in a Ralph Lauren ad.
Click to read the story about this photo.
I don’t think the above disaster says anything about our society as a whole. All it says to me is that a couple of people probably lost their jobs for creating and then approving bad art. Anyone who saw this and thought, “I should look like that” instead of “Wow, someone really fucked up at Ralph Lauren!” is not in his or her right mind anyway, my friends. Such a person would already be crazy in the brain. In my experience, people who are crazy in the brain can turn anything into a problem. As Freud never said, “If it’s not one ad, it’s your mother.” So stop with the wailing and gnashing of teeth already.
Getting back to Robin Givhan, the portion of the column that Tavi highlighted wasn’t specifically about weight:
“It’s always a bit discombobulating when people raise their voices in anger because they’ve gotten wind that designers are making and selling $25,000 dresses. After all, it’s not as if the existence of a dress that costs as much as a car negates the availability of cute $25 frocks at Target. And it isn’t as though edicts have been issued that all women must now dress like one of the superheroes on Balenciaga’s runway.
For personal and sometimes tortured reasons — I can’t have it so no one else can! — observers declare that they just don’t understand the attraction of these strange and expensive clothes. That would be a fair argument if those same complainers lashed out at people who spend thousands of dollars on Redskins season tickets, vintage wines, first-edition books or midlife-crisis cars. But those industries don’t stir nearly as much ire from people who are uninterested in them.
Everyone has a passion that is lost on others.”
I was delighted by these words because they reminded me of my own 2007 post, “Why Does Buyer’s Guilt Focus on Fashion?” And, since I didn’t have a post prepared for today, I thought, “Hey, I could just repeat my post from 2007.”
CLICK HERE TO READ MY POST FROM 2007.
I think the real women curves was cool the first time I heard it, but thats discrimination too. real women are anything!
I’m so glad that Givhan wrote that post and I’ve learned a bit of history before going to bed. w00t!
Femininity and frivolity, the never ending issue. I’m just about to write about this in my MA dissertation literature review. If you want to read thousands of words……
Hi there, just found you on Dream Sequins, thought I’d say hi.
Btw my anti-spam word above is “sohungry” which is SOOO TRUUEE! I think that’s a sign that I should get up and eat… bye.
I couldn’t get past her use of the word, “discombobulating”.
Hi there-your essay on disposable fashion is an excellent must read and I adore the quote in this post ‘Everyone has a passion that is lost on others’. Reading this and your other post keeps me inspired for my lust of vintage and designer goodies, even if they are thrifted!!
Everyone has a passion that is lost on others.”
HOW TRUE!!! I also say that, everyone has money. But it’s all about what they want to spend it on.
I’m not talking about quantity of money here, I’m talking about choices. Some may spend it on a complete home theater system. Others may think that is a waste of money.
I used to spend a ton of money on horses and showing. I don’t choose to do that anymore. Choices people!! choices!
“Everyone has a passion that is lost on others.” Hooray! I think I’ve been saying that for years! (At least as long as I’ve been earning my own money, which is a verrrrry long time.)
Separately, I refuse to suffer retail guilt for clothes or shoes. That’s just giving in to the morons Robin Givhan is referring to.
PS – The RL ad is hilarious. HILARIOUS! Agree – no one with a brain would seek to replicate. Except maybe at a fun park in those funny mirror things. (Do they even exist anymore or have I just shown my age?)
I didn’t comment about this ad because it seemed like the whole world was already tripping over itself to yell about it. But you’re right. This is SUCH a preposterous looking image that folks should know better than to get so indignant and righteous.
And I love Robin’s argument that expensive dresses and cheap dresses aren’t mutually exclusive. All that the traffic will bear, people …
Hooray!
i love you for this: “Anyone who saw this and thought, “I should look like that” instead of “Wow, someone really fucked up at Ralph Lauren!” is not in his or her right mind anyway, my friends.”
what a complete waste of time and energy that whole mess was. “motrin moms” anyone??
thank you for the word ban, it was necessary!
If I won the lottery tomorrow, I’d clothe myself in nothing but Etro and Chado Ralph Rucci and feel no guilt whatsoever!
i was happy to see that quote too. whenever i list “fashion” or “shopping” as a hobby i end up feeling really silly … but honestly, there’s not much of a difference between how much time/money i spend on those things vs how much time/money my grandfather spends on the golf course. people are so judgmental!
well written and well presented point of view … i dont\’ think there is right or wrong in either side of argument …. for me, the important part is to respect other side while hold on strongly one\’s own opinion in issues that matter to oneself …. i am glad to read this post …. xx
Haha, inneresting commenting about the term ‘real women’! I’d never really noticed what an annoying phrase that was!
That ad is ridiculous.
x
You know, for months and months I have had that 2007 post bookmarked, so I can one day memorize it and recite it verbatim to people who think that if you love fashion, you must be stupid.
I’d just like to say well done missy! It’s always annoyed me, the whole “real women” thing. Real women come in all shapes, sizes and bone structures – be they skinny or Rubinesque. Some skinny ladies are just born that way with great metabolisms (those bitches! :)) and others may take great care to look that way. The focus should be on health and the projection of that attitude. Skinny is fine – curvy is fine. Anorexic, death-camp victim, just as morbidly obese, are not images you want to be projecting as healthful to the world. The RL cover was a fine example of WTF. I still can’t quite fathom if their motives were related to satire or publicity or if they just went too far with the Photoshop.
I have spoken. 🙂
Lol, I’m with Rowena.
But seriously, I’m learning to shed the guilt on how much I spend on clothes. It’s the only thing I spend considerable money on. I don’t have any vices (don’t smoke, I have a cheap pay-as-you-go phone I hardly use, no car. So, it’s my one indulgence.
It’s amazing how people feel like they have the freedom to judge you if you’re a bit more spend-y on fashion and shopping than they are. I’ve come up against these attitudes once or twice and it’s annoying every time. Everybody spends their money how they want. As long as they’re not going into debt to fund their hobbies or directly harming someone else, more power to them.
Yeah that Ralph Lauren ad is just too ridiculous to take seriously. When I first saw it, I thought it was a joke. :S
I agree, the fashion industry gets too much flak for expensive products. What about those people who spend $200,000 on a Mercedes? Nobody says anything about that. Everyone is different and has their own interests. People choose what to be frivilous about, if they have the money, and that is their business.
Brillliant post my dear! As much I often write and feel empathy for plus-size women who are ostracized from the fashion community, I hesitate to use the term “real woman” in those instances. The truth is we come in all shapes and sizes.
When I hear women bemoan the fact that we need more “real women” with, curves and hips, who are sized 14 like the average American in fashion, I am torn. While I certainly see their plight, what does that make me? Am I not a real women because I am small? We need to look past the labels and titles and get over this body image obsession.
totally agree with that!
xoxo
I completely agree with all of the above.
That was my first thought when I saw that image…it looks completely ridiculous
But you diod end up writing a post here anyway 😉
That is a very good point about these expensive fashions, if I could afford it I might buy them too!
Oooooh would I love the power to ban a whole assortment of phrases!
But I would say that I have registered plenty of disapproval, or ‘buyers guilt’ in other industries as well, such as cars or private education. I think it is more that anything to any extreme is always going to repel some people.
I really, completely agree!
Great post!
yes! i agree wholeheartedly. the model-thin debate is something i have been thinking about, and pondering whether to post about for a while. i don’t have a problem with thin models, fashion is about fantasy. and i’m pretty sure i’m a “real” woman (first and last time i use that term, promise 😉 ), but i am skinny and non-curvy.
It actually looks like one of those “face in hole” photo games that are going around facebook at the moment. Except they cut the hole for the face too big. I can also see the art in it. I mean there is a nice line to it, like the dynamic ribbon on a coke can or “Madonna with the long Neck” (Parmigianino). Not remotely human but stylised.
can’t manufacture any rage so I guess I am not going to get despensered.
But surely a €25,000 dress is Art? in that you buy it because it’s beautiful and pleasing. An ugly €25,000 outfit would be sinful. But Beauty is never bad. xx
“All it says to me is that a couple of people probably lost their jobs for creating and then approving bad art.” W – you are so on with your words!! This is just what I thought. Seriously, who could have photoshopped that on purpose. The image was entirely, “bad-workmanship” preposterous.
This post is so nice I read it twice! =)
Agree with every word. No one should judge anyone by the purchases they make, whether it be clothing or anything. If the person can afford it, that’s their decision!
I easily feel guilty about my purchases but this makes me feel good!
Well said! How many times have I fumed at someone for attacking Kate Moss for not looking like a “real woman” because she’s so thin.
I hope someone is paying $25,000 for a dress! It means the economy is healthy somewhere!
You are so right. Fashion is dismissed as trivial while other passions tauted as worthwhile. Go figure.
Damn fine post, Wendy, as is the 2007 one. I am a big believer in quality in my clothes over quantity (but then, why not have both if you can??). Every time I go into an H&M, I am astounded at how poorly made everything is!
I saw the RL model being interviewed on the news and she said she was a size 4 at 5″11. Uhm that’s not even “real” that’s still skinny as heck – so why did they think to chop her in half in the spread – it doesn’t even look good – it looks RIDICULOUS!
And Tavi’s point is well versed. One person’s passion doesn’t have to be everyone else’s.
XOXO
is that seriously the ralph lauren?? so not right !!!
Loved this post.
OK, I’ll just say that this ad makes me feel very hungry…
I love me a good 14th century torture illustration; how apropos to include one while you’re talking about what they did to that hapless model. The end result was almost as amusing as the Despensering would’ve been to the English villagers!
i totally agree,could not have been better put and love that excerpt from the washington post article by givhan!
hope your sample sale went well!
xx
marian.
Come on.
It’s not solely how much you spend, it’s what you spend relative to what you have. Many women, driven by insecurity, think a $3,000 dress (I don’t hang out with the 25K level) will make them desirable. And if that’s half your month’s income, is that wise?
So, it’s not about “passion”, it’s about wanting to be alluring, confident and better than the competition.
You can always use the cheap logic of comparing a costly dress to other high priced pleasures, but that’s a cheap logical trick.
well said. this and your vintage 2007 post prompted me to do a little post on some very related issues. what would we do without you telling it like it is? 🙂
http://lesantimodernes.blogspot.com/2009/10/culture-critique.html
A year ago, when my 8 yr old girl got her first pair of UGG boots, my coworker lamented his 9 yr old daughter’s request for UGG boots as a Christmas gift. I said, you paid that $$ for Sabres (hockey) tix as Xmas gift for your son, but won’t pay that $$ for your daughter’s boots?
This?
“Anyone who saw this and thought, “I should look like that” instead of “Wow, someone really fucked up at Ralph Lauren!” is not in his or her right mind anyway, my friends.”
is why I LOVE you.
Thoughtful and thought inspiring post, as always. And I love this:”As Freud never said, “If it’s not one ad, it’s your mother.” LOL!!!! And, as Freud thought money was symbolic of sh*t I feel sure he thought holding onto money tightly was more of an issue than spending it on a dress. Trading $25,000 sh*ts for a gorgeous dress is a good trade off.
“Real Women Have Curves” needs to die.
I guess I’m not a “real” women haha!
I find anorexic models offensive and I find plus-size models equally dangerous.
To say “the average woman is size 14” is to give into the fact that we are becoming fatter and fatter as a society.
Here’s to somewhere in between!
As a larger sized woman I was at first heartened by the whole “real women have curves” thing because I often feel like most clothing designers don’t speak for me. It didn’t last long though because although I’m big and curvy my best friend, whom I love and admire so much, is all straight lines and very thin but she is every bit as beautiful, real and womanly as me.
Another response to the Ralph Lauren ad that won’t go away: those clothes are not very inspiring.
good post, that pic is dreadful
oh i think you did fine writing a post 🙂
and im not sure why someone passed that ralph lauren ad i mean really?! someone didnt see that as a bit off?
Thank you for bringing this up. I cannot stand all the current BS talk about “real women” as opposed to models. It is insulting and seems uneducated.