Wendy Brandes Jewelry Blog

Never Is the Next New Thing

Not-at-Alla Donatella?

by

When this Dolce & Gabbana ad came out last year, I had the same thought that a lot of people had: “Oh, my! Is that very tan, very blonde lady fashion designer Donatella Versace?”

Click to enlarge

My next thought was, “It wouldn’t make much sense for Donatella to be in another designer’s ad. After all, I’m not going to pose for jewelry designer David Yurman, even if he begs me.” If I had been working for People.com (as I did way back in 1999) I would have called D&G immediately to find out what was going on, but y’all aren’t paying me enough to do extra research for you. Yeah, yeah. You keep saying the check’s in the mail. I’m sick of your lies.

Anyway, I thought of the Dolce ad again in December, everyone went nuts in a bad way over pictures of “Donatella” in a bikini. A Donatella who, to me, looked a lot like what I thought of as Dolce’s pseudo-Donatella.

I kept waiting for a correction about those December photos that never came … until now, it seems. JustJared is warning readers that both new photos and the December ones are of a pseudo-Donatella. Meanwhile, X17online updated a December post to say that Versace’s lawyers stated that X17’s pictures were of pseudo-Donatella. So for now, I’m going to allow myself to feel smug while I wait for someone with authority to clear up this mystery once and for all. That means I get to feel smug forever, because there IS no authority in the blogosphere — probably because no one feels s/he’s being paid enough to pick up the damn phone and confirm anything. Yeah, yeah. I’ll go wait by my mailbox for that check.

If you have any new information about the Donatellas, feel free to leave it in the comments. If you want to talk trash about the bodies of any Donatella, go elsewhere to do it unless you’re (a) screwing her and have a personal interest in the matter or (b) willing to share a bathing-suit picture of yourself on this blog to even the field. If (a) doesn’t apply and (b) isn’t happening, (c) let the woman enjoy her beach time in peace.

UPDATED TO ADD: After I posted this, this blog updated its information to reflect that its pictures probably were NOT of Donatella. It only took a couple of months!

You might also like
Human and Canine Outfits
Feathers, Water, Looking Glass and an Imaginary Pig
Marcel Ostertag

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. I keep reading in the tabloids about the poor daughter being such a stick! I want to give her a cupcake and let her be happy and free!

  3. NO bathing suit photos of me forthcoming so I will stay schtum.
    Really clever ad by D&G. I got a Claudia look alike and the old wan from Something About Mary out of it too. (Do the Farrelly Brothers have Fashion lawyers writing to D&G?)
    xx

  4. I dunno: the connection between real Donatella and D&G Donatella feels fairly loose. Other than the fact that she is "of a certain age": aka, who cares.

    The december pic is fine, other than the rock-hard fake tits, which are sort of gross. But that's her M.O., right?

  5. Hi there-a great post, although I won’t be submitting any photos of me in a bathing suit any time soon,LOL!

  6. Well spotted WendyB!

    Of course the resemblance is nowhere as similar as that between Donatella and her other doppelganger – Janice from the Muppets!

  7. Both of them look like this woman that is on this exercise video my mum has had since the 80’s – maybe it’s actually her?

  9. Someone (not me, I’m broke-ass!) really should pay you for this! You have skills WendyB!!!

  10. OK, obviously I could be wrong here but to me the "lady" in the D&G ad appears to have what looks like a package. And not of the Christmas variety. Or the worlds most unusual camel toe. All I know is my eyes hurt1

  12. It’d be nice to know if it was Donatella, but I see why you’re not going to much trouble to check and see. You gotta get p.a.i.d.

  13. Dooder, I don’t know what Gianni was thinking when he made that poor girl his heir, but he didn’t do her any favors. I think all her misery came from that.

    PF, first me and Veatrice, now this, right?

    Hammie, that is Claudia!

    3 Column Grid, yeah, I guess that’s her look.

    Sharon Rose, if you change your mind, let me know.

    Skye, I would never be able to tell the difference between Donatella and Janice. We’d have to ask Animal.

    Coco, your mom still has an ’80s exercise video?!?

    Dale, actually, I like that. If the companies merge, that’s what they can call it.

    Little LJ, I was really tempted to make the call, but saying I was calling from “Wendy Brandes Jewelry” was unlikely to get swift action.

    KT, she doesn’t have Coco’s elegant toe, that’s for sure.

    Thumbelina, you pass.

    Enc, where’s my money, as Stewie would say? Don’t make a fool of me, man!

  15. I’ve read that Donnatella’s swarthy twin is a regular on that beach. Everyone who lives there knows it isn’t the big D, but the tabloids keep printing that shit, cuz people keep buying it.

  17. omg, donatella or not being that thin and that tan can’t be all that healthy.

  18. I’m not sure whats worse teh real of fake bake Donatella.
    Lovin’ the only working for the money ethos!

  19. You are my forensic specialist WendyB. It's all that Law & Order! And I was so shocked by that D&G photo (not that I thought it was Donnatella – never made that connection). Ooooh.

  26. Its funny how in the second pic, Fake-atella slathered sunscreen all over and around her lips! Hello? The rest of your body please??

    She looks like a baked turkey. Albeit, not a delicious one.

  27. When I first saw that picture (the second one), I didn’t think it was Donatella. I thought the face looked more like Joan Van Ark.

  29. Whether or not it’s Donatella, that woman’s boob job is the worst I’ve ever seen! The anorexia and skin cancer must be a bummer, but I’m sure those fake boobs are the most uncomfortable things ever!

  37. there is nothing like a little donatella to realize ….
    i
    miss
    coco!

    more coco, less dVer
    pls

  38. Have you seen her TOPLESS PHOTO?? I am not going to post the link because I don’t want to be responsible for people regurgitating on their keyboards. It’s the most disturbing thing I’ve seen in a while. Ok, maybe my whole life. *Shudder*