Yesterday, I was annoyed by an anti-flower-feet article in the New York Observer. The article, which is heavy on sarcasm but short on funny, also slammed chunky platform wedges, peep-toe booties and — worst of all — gladiator sandals!
The Emperor agrees with me.“Wendy, it vexes me. I’m terribly vexed by this article.”
Not only did the author malign shoes that delight my eye and appeal to my senses of adventure and humor, but she offended my feminist fashion sensibilities by trotting out the old “men-don’t-like-these-fashions” chestnut. By men, she means straight men, of course. And that’s supposed to terrify us. Oooooh, straight men don’t like these shoes! The horror! The horror!
Please. I think we all know what happens if we try to dress for straight men.
Hooters! Fun for the whole family!It doesn’t matter what you wear, my lady peeps; straight men are always going to think your clothes would look better on the bedroom floor. If you’re going to dress for men, dress for the gays. Remember, a compliment from one gay man is always equivalent to 10 straight-man compliments.
Of course, there are exceptions to every rule and in this case, the exception is my gorgeous husband, MrB, who joined me for shoe shopping during our trip to Los Angeles last weekend. He was quite disappointed when I declared the Miu-Miu teacup shoes to be too tight in the toe. He thought they were beauteous.
He gamely posed with a Maison Martin Margiela cork boot, though we both agreed that the cork sandals I got last year were much more attractive.
And then he helped me pick out two delightful pairs of gladiator-esque sandals.
Funny factoid: Russell Crowe’s gladiator wore boots, not sandals.First we picked this pair of Jil Sander wedges, in white to honor my beloved white gladiator flats of 1985.
Then I debated endlessly over this fabulously ’70s Lanvin style.
They were very comfortable (and I’m generally dead serious about comfort) and I thought they would be fabulous with many of my vintage dresses, including my Ossies. But because I tend to be a perfectionist when it comes to shoes, I was bothered that one toe looked like it was trying to escape.
Little toe, where do you think you are going?As I pondered this, the very low-key and pleasant saleswoman said, “You know, you could just embrace the toe.” And I thought, “That’s genius!” After all, I’m always telling people to chill out and accept the inevitable: necklace clasps will creep around to the front, rings will get scratched, etc. Similarly, BarbaraB used to tell me, “Stop looking at things so closely!” So what if one toe yearns to hit the road sans sandal? Dream on, toe! You’re nothing without the rest of me. I think the shoes are going to look great with my vintage Zandra Rhodes dress.
I’ll leave you with a song that was hot in 1985, back when I had my first gladiators. The group is Nu Shooz.
UPDATED TO ADD: The Iron Chic has wonderful historic perspective on the shoe issue and Fashion Nation sees the beauty in the ugly. Also, I’ve ogled these Chanel shoes in several stores but haven’t tried them on yet.
UPDATED AGAIN TO ADD: Alas! I have decided that while I was able to embrace the big toe, which is what I initially focused on, I am unable to embrace the struggling-to-be-free pinkie toe, so I must return the Lanvin shoes. Returns always stress me out, especially long distance returns, and especially long-distance returns of super-nice, vintage-y, comfortable shoes. I think we should all observe a moment of silence for the Lanvins. Sympathy cards should be sent to my Zandra Rhodes dress.
That woman was just jealous of your flower feet. I love all your new shoes. I am embracing your toe. Can you feel it from here?
Oh great! Now my toe wants to run away to California to pursue a relationship with you. I’m telling it that you’re already taken.
great post! screw the critics, embrace the toe!
that might be my new mantra!!!
I love your shoes! The white wedges will look great with your new Ossie dress too! Paul has wonderful taste!
There is an annoying article in the new “Marie Claire” magazine – “Guys Weigh In On Your Style.” They love this…they hate that…blah, blah, blah. I laughed very hard at the Hooters picture! Marie Claire didn’t even need to write the article. I think you summed it up nicely with the picture.
Leah
Ooh, Leah, I was wondering if those wedges would work with that dress. I was like, “Who can tell me that…” and then you came through! I HATE that kind of magazine feature. I’m not sure if Marie Claire does it all the time but I’ve definitely seen it in there before. Knowing the guys’ thoughts just makes me want to retch. Knowing most peoples’ opinions makes me want to retch. I just try to tune everyone else out and make myself happy, so the idea of going out and soliciting foolish reactions is appalling to me. Also, I find that straight guys are willing to like whatever you tell them to like. Why would I let them form ideas for themselves when I can implant my own in their minds? The mag has it all backwards!
you have the miu miu tea cup shoes?! Oh how very luck you are. And haha I always feel better about an outfit if a gay man compliments me, if a straight guy compliments me I start to worry if i look too hoochie lol or if i accidently have my dress stuck into my tights and im walking around showing my arse because compliments from straight guys (about an outfit) really are a rarity.
Those gold sandals are exactly the ticket for all your beautiful vintage dresses-yum, yum I adore this Zandra Rhodes number! Don’t worry about ‘little toe’-she’s obviously got a rebellious streak going on!
oh my goodness, you and paul must be the most fun people to shop with!
the observer article just about named off why every shoe in existence is fashion victimy…save crocs and doc martens. yo.
and where on earth do guys get the idea that we dress for them anyway? i gotta go put on my makeup now… therefore cutting this little rant short.
😉
Wow Wendy, you have such a nice collection of shoes, flower feet and tea cup feet!
stunning buys! I’ll wager your lil’ runway toe will get the better of you…prove Imelda wrong!
Where did this Hillary get her ideas from? First of all that headline was stoo-pid.
And I really can’t believe some of the lines in there – “where is the line that separates a wedge from a stripper shoe?” – What??? Seriously?
And “We thought booties were for babies.” !!!
I can’t imagine that my black Prada flower heels look anything but elegant. I guess I’m just not “ordinary” and am “a bona fide intellectual who appreciates them.”
Good. I hope she keeps folks away. More for me.
Plus what century is this – why the heck would I be concerned about dressing to please men. As you said Wendy, (most straight) men don’t really get an opinion on such matters.
Luv
Poochie
woah I’m still gushing over the miu miu shoes…
-Steph
I love you for wearing vintage Zandra Rhodes… and it goes without saying that the shooz are fab…
Oy vey–touche, Wendy, on the Hooters/straight men comment! Very, very spot-on (I know that’s redundant).
I, too, have an attraction to the Miu Miu, though so many people are saying they’re hideous. And I LOVE your Zandra Rhodes.
I was feeling a little upset about you not getting the Miu Miu shoes (ahem, may be living vicariously through your shoe-buying), but the other pairs you bought made up for it! So pretty!
Also, “If you’re going to dress for men, dress for the gays.” So true! Priceless.
Ugh, too bad the teacup shoes didn’t work out because they are soooo freaking cute. The other pairs are adorable too, though.
Love the gold Lanvins!
The person who wrote the article needs to take a deep breath, maybe have a drink. If you don’t like them, don’t wear them. Sheesh. I love the pink dress, btw; I’m wearing something in that same color to a wedding this weekend.
Brilliant, miss. And you’re completely right: straight dudes don’t give one great damn about your clothes. Unless we’re paying for them.
I had the gladiator shoes the first time around. I am skipping the trend this time. But, I am longing for some flower feet.
you look so gorgous in that dress- inpeccable! so beautiful!
I did a “response” post to this.
That article annoyed me.
those white wedges looks really hot!
The white wedges are a stunning choice, and as for the big toe trying to escape, who knows what new and fabulous adventures he/she may lead you to, just follow the big toe! Well done Mr B, a husband in a trillion!
I love the shoes! Those Lanvin platforms are amazing. I’m not 100% sold on gladiators for me, but the ones you took home are beautiful.
My little toe isn’t so much of an escaper as a hider — it tucks in behind my fourth toe. But even if it did decide to make a break for it in the Lanvins, I would still go for them too!
wait so they’re saying straight men don’t like gladiators? wtf no way?
every guys who has seen me in my balenciaga rip offs form nine west drools i had one guy say he wished every woman wore those shoes, i’ve had guys tell me i’m badass for wearing them
lol i dont believe that for a second… maybe the typical straight guy with missing teeth and a gun rack from alabama doesnt! lol
those tea cup shoes are to diiiiiie foooor! eee what a pity they don’t fit! alas, you do have many a pair of amazing shoes and you are so right, there is no way we should try to dress for men and even worse, look ‘acceptable’ because there are guys out there who like fashion! unfortunately none of them find me 🙁
I just want to add that wherever you found your husband, keep him and never let go because any man that will not only go shoe shopping with you but actually actively participate in the choosing process is a gift from the gods. My husband is a nasty old thing when it comes to any kind of shopping and can only help as far as holding my bag.
Shame the Prada shoes didn’t fit, they are gorgeous.
“Embrace the toe” — your new mantra for the summer — so LA! Shoes are gorgeous. Excellent decisions.
You go, Wendy! You tell that toe who’s boss!
I’m lucky to have a husband like yours who takes an interest in my clothes and actually likes shopping (and isn’t gay!), but your advice about dressing for the gays is right on.
And that Zandra Rhodes: amazing!! I’d love to see it with the gold Lanvins.
so amazing art shoes!!!
love it!!!
and you are right, it´s not easy to find so stylist people as that models for sartorialist…they have something that regular people don´t have: they are so tall!!!
a kiss and a hug,
Kira
I’m so glad you commented on my blog! I love yours! This is great 🙂
My hubbs is among the many men who just don’t get the gladiator trend, and unfortunately for him… it’s that time of year again! haha.
PS- Love the song by Nu Shooz
Have you seen the video of men commenting on this season’s shoes? On NY magazine’s site.
Some of the comments were funny, but there’s this one guy who says any girl who would wear the red Diors with the diamond heel is insecure and trying to detract from her ugliness. I didn’t care for the shoes either, but I thought his comment was a bit much.
Hehe 😀 Thanks for a funny and on-point post! My shoes have to be comfortable first and foremost, let’s see the guys walk on cobbled streets or soft lawn on spike heels, walk around museums or shops or sightseeing or whatever for hours wearing toe-cinching stilettos 😀 Greetings from a fan of wooden platforms, biker boots, clunky heels and gladiator sandals
Oh wow, those Jil Sanders are FAB!!
I love a man who appreciates a shoe too. Those Miu Miu’s are very cute – a pity they pinched.
Your husband’s a good guy. My husband would be holding up the boot with a horrified look on his face about the price.
Your husband’s a good guy. My husband would be holding up the boot with a horrified look on his face about the price.
haha good post. shoes are one of the best things about being a woman, so why not have fun with them! the flower shoes are unique, clearly the writer lacks originality however
all of those shoes are gorgeous! im a huge fan of the jil sander ones…
I really enjoyed this post wendyb…i love the jil sanders…also that caption is the best!
Love the shoes and the post. And thanks for reminding me of one of my favorite 80s tunes – oh the memories…now I feel old 🙂
Fab post Wendy. The white shoe (as everyone has noted) is phenomenally gorgeous. I can think of 10 things in my closet it would go fantastically with. The metallic ones are also amazing – and such a basic, truly. I can relate to your being irked by the big toe. I too am fussy about that but I think embracing (esp. in light of such a gorgeous piece) is the order of the day. K
those teacup shoes are incredible!!!
Sniff, sniff! I read your update, Wendy-are you 100% sure you can’t live with these beautys-I’m sure the stress of sending them back is going to be worse than little toe appearing every now and then!
NO DON’T return the Lanvins!! Before you even mentioned your Ossie dresses, i thought they would look great with your style!
But i think, having all you toes is a better bargain.
Your hubby has good taste, those Miu Miu tea-cup shoes are sooooooooo cute!
Loved this post…”embrace the toe” lol!!
Exactly how presumptuous do they think they’re being, declaring that ‘straight men are scared of funky shoes’? (your husband liked the teacup heels- so much for ‘all men’ being scared, pity about the tightness though). And which self-respecting girl would want to be with a man who’d get that easily put off? Idiots. Great post, though!
You had me rolling with the hooters comment. Then I saw the photo of your little toe trying to sneak out of town – I have a pair of shoes that make my little toe want to jump ship too!
You’ve officially brightened my day.
the jil sander wedges are beautiful. and I LOVE that dress. If i could steal clothes through pictures they’d be mine