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Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Last night, I had the horrifying realization that my almost-husband Paul McCartney was at the Vanity Fair Oscar party on Sunday and — somehow — I didn’t see him. Best!Party!Ever! turned into Worst!Missed!Opportunity!Ever! in the blink of an eye.

I started desperately searching for information about what time Macca and his lovely wife arrived at the event, hoping that it was really late … or really early … or during the time that I was in a photo booth. Anything! Anything to explain this catastrophe! As I pored over photos and articles, guess what I found? A picture of actual-husband MrB peering over Ben Affleck’s shoulder.

oscarphotobomb

LOL! Courtesy Reuters/Daily Mail. Click to see the full photo, which includes the bottom of my dress,my turquoise skull ring and my foot.

That inspired me to check Getty Images for more of MrB. Here he is with Ben and Jennifer Garner (MrB says, “I prefer to think of myself as photobombing Jennifer Garner” rather than Ben Affleck.)  Here he is smiling in the vicinity of Paula Patton. And here’s the jackpot photo: Both of us sneaking past Paula.

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Tiptoeing past Paula. Click for the full photo.

Look at me holding onto MrB’s hand for dear life! I had never worn those shoes before and the train of that velvet dress was heavy. I was sure I was going to fall — red-carpet roadkill — and I figured it would serve me right for commenting on Jennifer Lawrence’s stumbles earlier in the evening. On the bright side, if I had wiped out and died of embarrassment, it would have been a good reason for missing McCartney. “She was so close to fulfilling her decades-old dream of touching Sir Paul,” MrB would have told my parents, “but, tragically, she expired from shame right before the opportunity arose.” But, seeing as I stayed upright and lived to make it into the party, what’s my excuse?

SOMEONE PLEASE FIX THIS FOR ME AND BRING ME TO PAUL MCCARTNEY STAT! I swear I will not embarrass you or him. I’ll just calmly shake his hand, say “Nice to meet you!” then tie him up and drag him away to my lair and that’s all. In the meantime … as kids these days say on Twitter … BRB. Crying.

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10 Responses to “The Unseen Paul McCartney and the Photobombing MrB”

  1. Lynette says:

    Hey, WendyB. I’m comment-bombing you, honey! Love all of these photos and so dearly wish that your luck would have been much better where Sir Paul is concerned.

  2. Lynnski says:

    In an alternate blog universe, Sir Paul is bemoaning his own poor vision and bad luck in missing you on Sunday night. He feels like a fool.

    Prince tweeted that he loved your dress! He has mixed feelings about all the precipitation, however.

  3. Aww, Wendy…I’m so sorry about your missed opportunity to meet Monsieur McCartney!! It would have been such an amazing coup!! Does almost meeting Paula Patton and the Afflecks make up for it in any way?! Don’t forget…you even have the photo proof!! ;)

    • WendyB
      Twitter: WendyBrandes
      says:

      I was hoping that Macca found my lost driver’s license and would be standing at my door waiting to hand it to me. It didn’t happen :-(

  4. stacy says:

    I’m sowwy :( Paul told me about Paul.
    Kinda funny how MrB and Ben A. have the same exact expression!

  5. Elizabeth says:

    What a great post. I can’t believe the luck you two had with photobombing!

    It sounds like you had a great time.