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Friday, September 28, 2012

I’ve seen Madonna on every tour she’s done since 1985, when I skipped my high-school prom to see her at Radio City. Naturally, I saw her earlier this month when she became the first female performer to headline at Yankee Stadium. A few days later, I put on my new concert t-shirt and went to the gym for a hip-hop cardio class taught by a guy who has followed Madonna as long as I have. He excitedly asked me about the show. I gave it a rave review and then we said in unison:

“Elton John is an asshole.”

This summer, Elton said Madonna “looks like a fucking fairground stripper.” He also said, “She’s such a nightmare. Her career is over, I can tell you that. Her tour is a disaster and it couldn’t happen to a bigger cunt.” Madonna is used to Elton throwing shade her way, but my out-and-proud aerobics instructor — who mashed up Madonna’s classic “Express Yourself” with Lady Gaga’s similar-sounding “Born This Way” for class as soon as the latter came out (as Madonna did in her concert) — is holding a grudge.  “One thing I can’t stand is a gay man who disrespects women,” he said.

Damn straight! I’ve said before that I’m sick of the ageist and sexist shit sent Madonna’s way.  I was thinking about that during the concert. As always, Madonna proved herself to be an amazing entertainer and athlete. If she’s capable of executing elaborate fight choreography, climbing a wall in high heels and balancing (with a helping hand) on a slackline, why shouldn’t she do that at the age of 54? I work out every day and I don’t have anything close to her strength and endurance at age 44. I didn’t have it at 34 or 24 or 14 either.  If a miracle happens and I can somehow manage Madonna-type physical feats at 54, you bet your ass that I’ll be doing those every chance I get because I’ll be so fucking proud.

And so what if she doesn’t look like everyone’s fantasy woman close up? She’s a huge star … like the sun. We all like the sun, but it’s dangerous to stare directly at it and we certainly don’t want to stand on its fiery surface. Similarly, as I realized at Yankee Stadium, Madonna is not meant to be studied on the street or through the camera lenses of mere humans … you’re supposed to see her only in arenas and on giant video screens.

Here is a picture of my Madonna concert outfit taken after the show.

Yeah, I’m wearing two rain ponchos. It was pouring. I’ve seen Madonna more than a dozen times (and Elton John zero times) and I will still stand in the rain for her (while I won’t sit in a mildly uncomfortable chair in perfect weather for Elton’s sake).  It was raining so hard, I couldn’t take any photos without risking the ruin of my equipment. I just got one iPhone shot of the stage before she started.

There was a lot of criticism of Madonna’s use of fake guns at the beginning of the show. I was braced for it to be terrible, but I thought it was fashionably Bonnie and Clyde. I’ve definitely seen worse on prime-time television, not to mention cable. Why does music always get criticized for violent imagery more than other art? I don’t think I’ve heard any lyrics that are as disgusting as that Centipede movie.

Here’s what I wore under the rain ponchos.

What Wendy Wore
Top: Pucci (2005/2006)
Shorts: Sanctuary (2010)
Rain Boots: Marc Jacobs (pre-2005?)
Purse: Prada (pre-2005?)

I also wore the earrings that I usually wear to Madonna concerts. In my left ear, I wore one of the heart-locket earrings that I got in the ’80s …

My heart-locket earrings from the ’80s. Click for original post.

… and in my right ear, I wore the guitar-pick earring that I got from the first boy I ever kissed.

My guitar-pick earring from the early ’80s. Click for original post.

Here’s how they looked when I wore them in the same ear to a Madonna concert four years ago.

The earrings going to a Madonna concert in 2008. Click for original post.

This time, I suffered a terrible tragedy. After a vicious fight with the hood of my original, cheap-ass, non-Yankee-Stadium, oh-my-God-I’m-so-prepared-ahead-of-time orange rain poncho, I went to buy a better Yankees rain poncho. As I waited in a long line, I felt for my earrings and the guitar pick was GONE! The wire was still there, but no pick. I must admit I had a moment of tearfulness at having lost something I’d had for nearly 30 years. But, you know, if it had to be lost, a Madonna concert is an appropriate place for that to happen. In a way, I got it in the ’80s and returned it to the ’80s! I’m at peace with it.

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15 Responses to “What Wendy Wore (and Lost): Madonna at Yankee Stadium”

  1. Faux Fuchsia says:

    I’m sick of gay men criticising women too.

    I’ve only been to one Madonna concert.

    Love the Pucci.


  2. Chesh says:

    I really don’t think Elton John has any room to talk when it comes to being irrelevant or not aging gracefully.

  3. K-Line says:

    Oh, I feel your earring-loss pain. But your attitude is excellent. Can you make yourself a new version with new meaning?

  4. Eyeliah says:

    I am so sad for your loss, but yes it was the best way to lose it! I am going to Madonna here on Sunday, so excited, but still no clue what I’ll wear 😮

  5. I’d love to have seen her, even in the rain. Years ago, I pissed my father-in-law off because I wanted to watch one of her concerts on TV. He was horrified at watching her. I had gone to another room to watch it, so I figure it was his fault for coming in there after I warned him.
    You looked fab! At first, I thought, how did she keep those boots dry, then I saw they were rainboots.
    Way to go being prepared!

  6. Megan Mae says:

    Sounds like an amazing show. Sorry you lost the earring!

  7. stacy says:

    Uh, hello… turns out vertical stripes are not slimming. LOL. Just picking on you. I heard about the awful plastic ponchos, but I had not SEEN them. They are a sight for sore eyes (which mine are now, thank you very little).

    I’m still heartbroken over your guitar pick. But, like you said… if it had to go at least it was at a Madonna concert.

  8. SarahMac says:

    So with you on the Madonna anti-ageist crap that goes on. Right on! Also, although I hate even mentioning it or thinking about it, I also had the unfortunate experience of reading a synopsis of that Centipede movie. Scarred for life. Seriously. WTF. Sorry bout the earring.

  9. Oh no, not the guitar pick earring! So sad.

    Good for you sticking up for Madonna. I can’t believe Elton John said those things about her!

  10. I have pics from the days when my best friend and me did our best to dress like Madonna, back in the early 80s. They are some of my fave pics ever. I never get tired of listening to her music, and I would definitely pay to see her in concert if she was ever this way. As for her appearance, she’s pretty damned fabulous any way you look at it, and unique, and forever part of some of the best times I ever had 🙂

  11. Marti says:

    That sucks about your earring Wendy. But I like the way you look at it, if it was to leave you that was definately the venue (with madonna)