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Sunday, January 15, 2012

I’m giving my newly invented Best Dressed/Wear What You Want combo award for the Golden Globes red carpet to Piper Perabo. The oversize skirt made her sheer ballgown from Theyskens’ Theory Spring 2012 collection fit for a queen.

Getty Images via Zimbio. Click for source and many more photos.

This is the kind of red-carpet dressing I like. Beautiful, risky and totally memorable. Designer Olivier Theyskens’ work is made for the red carpet — which is appropriate because the red carpet made his career when he designed Madonna’s 1998 Oscar dress.

Madonna’s Theyskens dress. Click for source.

Quite a few of his piece since then have had a lasting impact on me, including his “birds” gown for Rochas in 2006

Via style.com. Click for source.

… and his chartreuse ombre for Nina Ricci in 2007. (Theyskens goes through jobs like I go through Cadbury Dairy Milk bars.)

Via style.com. Click for source.

Piper’s dress is so spectacular that I forgive her muddy-looking makeup and strange facial expressions.  If I were wearing such a majestic dress, maybe I’d say “fuck it” to all the other elements too.

Her dress was certainly the only one of the many pale dresses that stood out.  The vast number of blush, pale pink, and other barely-there colors reminded me of the cement color that dominated the Oscar red carpet in 2010. Dull, dull, dull.  If I were there, I would much rather be wearing Sarah Michelle Gellar’s monstrous tie-dyed Monique Lhuillier gown than blending in with the boring crowd. Speaking from personal experience, it’s more fun to wind up on the worst-dressed list than be overlooked. Welcome to my world, Sarah Michelle!

I bet I’ve reposted this picture 100 times. Click to see more pix of my leopard dress.

Speaking of bad, why is Kelly Osbourne a part of E!’s Fashion Police? I didn’t see her walk the red carpet, but when she was sitting down, all the focus was on her lavender-ish hair and cartoonish forearm tattoos and all I could think was, “Poor thing! A purple Care Bear threw up on her!” Her look wasn’t interestingly confrontational or personality-driven in a Wear What You Want style icon way. It was just … stuffed animal. What would Joan Rivers say?

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15 Responses to “My Best Dressed at the Golden Globes: Piper Perabo”

  1. THE-LOUDMOUTH
    Twitter: theloudermouth
    says:

    You’re right about the face — she totally looks high. But the dress is amazing!

  2. Megan Mae says:

    I wasn’t too wowed by most of the dresses, but I loved Dianna Agron in the red swan dress and whoever that was with Madonna in the Westwood dress. I admit I’m also ignoring the Globes in favor of watching Castle on my computer.

    I’m not sure if I love that bird gown, or if it’s hipster as fuck. Or both.

  3. Mary Panjari says:

    I love the Theyskens frocks but not as much as I love seeing the picture of you triumphantly being a disaster area. I would be so proud if it were me! Go you!

    • WendyB
      Twitter: WendyBrandes
      says:

      It’s like I have to land on another disaster page already because that photo is such old news!

      • Mary Panjari says:

        It never gets tired but see what you can do. Also I love Buffy’s dress.
        I’m at work supposedly writing a grant application, ethics submission, study protocol and submitting a manuscript simultaneously and all I want to do is look at the GG frocks online. Sigh.

  4. The Style Crone
    Twitter: judithstylecrone.com
    says:

    That’s a whole lot of ‘gown energy!’

  5. stacy says:

    Great post. I thought Piper look glam. It’s very 50’s with that tiny waist. Loved the sheer fabric because even though it was “a whole lotta dress” you could still see skin! Brilliant.

    Kelly Osbourne? WTF. I more than agree there… how the hell did she get the job of fashion police? With the blue hair, she’s looking more and more like Mrs. Slocombe.

  6. Julie Marie Matos says:

    Yeah Lady B,
    I think they should def bump Kelly Osbourne on Fashion Police and give
    you the position!!!!

    Actually thought there were a few that got it really right for the awards. Of course
    just a few amongst the bunch.

    We know Adam Levine is tall and cute, but did his tailor deliberately shrink his tux and he had no choice but to wear it??

    Why don’t you give us more Fashion critiques on the awards ? You’ve got my vote!!

  7. Keely says:

    Love Piper’s dress! It’s amazing!

  8. brett says:

    i never could decide whether or not i liked her dress
    that must mean she chose right lol (memorable)
    i agree that her makeup was pretty blah for that dress
    brett

  9. Susan Tiner says:

    I still can’t figure out why you ended up on the worst dressed list wearing that fabulous dress.

  10. Elizabeth says:

    If Joan wasn’t in cahoots with Kelly, she’d have ripped on her sharpish.

    I love you in that leopard dress, LOOK at your physique! I’ve been a staunch supporter of that dress ever since I first saw a picture of you in it. I’d love to be out with you someplace where you were wearing that dress. I’d be honored to be in your presence.

  11. Katherine
    Twitter: katemmons
    says:

    Late to the party on this, but I totally agree with you on both Piper Parabo and Kelly “I-am-only-here-because-my-mom-and-dad-are-outrageously-connected” Osborne … I found a slightly less manic pic of Ms. Piper — she radiates! http://www.bigblingapp.com/?s=belle+of+the+ball

  12. Claire says:

    As always, yours is the only red-carpet commentary I’m interested in reading. See you at the Oscars.

    -cdp