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Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Since 2009, the highlarious and sometimes just plain high Michael K of the gossip blog Dlisted has been covering the Herve Leger monstrosity that he calls The Slut Dress. The black bandage dress with cutouts — there’s a “nude” lining under the cutouts — has been worn on the red carpet and/or to the opening of an envelope by Dancing With the Stars performer Cheryl Burke; actress Heather Graham; reality-television starlet Kristin Cavallari; model Doutzen Kroes; reality-television train wreck Heidi Montag; reality-television lingerie designer Caprice; and sportscaster-who-danced-with-the-stars Erin Andrews.

The dress on Caprice, via Dlisted. Click for source.

I’ve never stumbled across the dress myself till this week when I was clicking around the sale section on Neiman Marcus’s website in a desultory way. Lo and behold, there was the slut “Monique” dress, reduced from $1,900 to $1,140.

Click to shop.

I apologize to the petite ladies, but this is only available in a Large. I know you’re devastated.

Another view.

My long-time fashion philosophy — and the motto of this blog since I started it in 2007 — is Wear What You Want. But sometimes I have to draw the line and this is one of those times. The cutouts aren’t necessarily a problem. Cutouts can be done right. Seventy-four-year-old actress Jane Fonda looked gorgeous in a cutout Pucci gown (with a shimmering lining under the cutouts) at the Cannes Film Festival earlier this year.

Photos from Red Carpet Fashion Awards. Click for source.

Singer Ciara wore the same gown without any lining under the cutouts and her amazingly toned body demanded respect.

Ciara, courtesy Glamour.com. Click for source.

Either way, the Pucci dress keeps the bare-skin focus on the cutout, while the arms and legs are covered. The Leger is a cutout, skin-tight, strapless mini dress. Too much is going on there! DISLIKE. The only place to wear this dress is at the Jersey Shore or in Las Vegas, where it would actually class the place up by covering more skin than the outfits typically worn there. (In Vegas last weekend, I saw cuca more than once.) If you’re going to either of those places, I regret to inform you that Bebe’s more-modest, $39 knockoff is sold out, but I’m sure Jersey Shore‘s JWOWW can tell you where to get something just like it for even less. No need to spend big at Neiman’s!

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14 Responses to “Drawing the Line at the Cutout Herve Leger Dress”

  1. Megan Mae says:

    I have to admit Jane Fonda looks the best in that cut out dress. I like cut out dresses/tops, provided they cover all the important bits.

  2. stacy says:

    The best part is the “Help A Child” message splashed across the backdrop!! Such an inappropriate dress selection for that event… unless she helped the children by donating half of the fabric to her dress??

  3. Mary says:

    Bloody terrible frock. Wait, I shan’t besmirch the word frock by associating it with the above monstrosity.

  4. Vix says:

    I love a cut-out detail but it’s just wrong with a black mini dress. That brown maxi dress is a beauty (or maybe that’s the gorgeous babe inside it). x

  5. Ill draw the line here as well, lol.

  6. Vyque
    Twitter: fasshonaburu
    says:

    unless, of course, Coco deems o wear this dress?

  7. Liz says:

    Holy shit- i’m pretty sure I saw 10 girls wearing that dress and much, much worse at the cosmo.

    I like Jane Fonda’s version much better than Ciara. Ciara’s is def better than the black one, but I still think it’s a bit much

    • WendyB
      Twitter: WendyBrandes
      says:

      I saw only worse than that at the Cosmo.

      Ciara’s dress would be bad on almost anyone except Ciara. She has the body for it. If she had a bigger bust, it would be bad but she’s just right.

  8. Alya says:

    Cut outs are fine with me, but really, I agree with D Listed on this one. “Slutty dress” is just what it is. Something that would make it on the Jersey Shore cast!

  9. Eli says:

    It IS a very typical Vegas dress. We would often laugh at lady tourists because they always had a nightclub uniform on – a very little hoochie black dress. You really see groups of women all wearing only black!

  10. Susan Tiner says:

    I agree with Megan Mae.

  11. Oh to Be a Muse
    Twitter: Ohtobeamuse
    says:

    i like cut out dresses too, but i’m not too sure about these.

  12. Elizabeth says:

    Agreed, that dress is just too, too, too, too.

    It needs to be one of those things, but not all four.