Since 2009, the highlarious and sometimes just plain high Michael K of the gossip blog Dlisted has been covering the Herve Leger monstrosity that he calls The Slut Dress. The black bandage dress with cutouts — there’s a “nude” lining under the cutouts — has been worn on the red carpet and/or to the opening of an envelope by Dancing With the Stars performer Cheryl Burke; actress Heather Graham; reality-television starlet Kristin Cavallari; model Doutzen Kroes; reality-television train wreck Heidi Montag; reality-television lingerie designer Caprice; and sportscaster-who-danced-with-the-stars Erin Andrews.
I’ve never stumbled across the dress myself till this week when I was clicking around the sale section on Neiman Marcus’s website in a desultory way. Lo and behold, there was the
slut “Monique” dress, reduced from $1,900 to $1,140.
I apologize to the petite ladies, but this is only available in a Large. I know you’re devastated.
My long-time fashion philosophy — and the motto of this blog since I started it in 2007 — is Wear What You Want. But sometimes I have to draw the line and this is one of those times. The cutouts aren’t necessarily a problem. Cutouts can be done right. Seventy-four-year-old actress Jane Fonda looked gorgeous in a cutout Pucci gown (with a shimmering lining under the cutouts) at the Cannes Film Festival earlier this year.
Singer Ciara wore the same gown without any lining under the cutouts and her amazingly toned body demanded respect.
Either way, the Pucci dress keeps the bare-skin focus on the cutout, while the arms and legs are covered. The Leger is a cutout, skin-tight, strapless mini dress. Too much is going on there! DISLIKE. The only place to wear this dress is at the Jersey Shore or in Las Vegas, where it would actually class the place up by covering more skin than the outfits typically worn there. (In Vegas last weekend, I saw cuca more than once.) If you’re going to either of those places, I regret to inform you that Bebe’s more-modest, $39 knockoff is sold out, but I’m sure Jersey Shore‘s JWOWW can tell you where to get something just like it for even less. No need to spend big at Neiman’s!