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Sunday, July 4, 2010

Happy 4th of July to my U.S. readers! I know I spend way too much time thinking about fashion because Uncle Sam’s outfit reminds me of Viktor & Rolf’s Fall/Winter 2000/2001 collection instead of vice versa.

Click for source.

A doll wearing Viktor & Rolf's stars-and-stripes outfit. Click for source.

I also know I spend too much time watching Law & Order reruns because Uncle Sam makes me think of Sam Waterston’s eyebrows. I’m still devastated by the cancellation of Sam Waterston’s show, Law & Order. I keep envisioning the eyebrows standing on the unemployment line. Sad! But Law & Order didn’t air in vain. I’m going to share two important safety tips I’ve learned after years of watching the show.

  • If you knock on someone’s door and the unlocked door opens a tiny bit, there’s a dead body on the premises. Run away and call 911.
  • If you knock on someone’s door to return a child who slept over at your house/casserole dish/other item, and the woman of the house encourages you to keep the child/dish/other item while making weird hand gestures and looking like a hot mess, there are murderers on the premises. Run away and call 911.

Here’s a bonus tip:

  • If you are walking down a dark alley and hear ominous background music, there is a murderer behind you. Blow your “rape whistle,” run away and call 911.

Feel free to leave your own crime-show tips in the comments, and have a fun and murder-free holiday!

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12 Responses to “Safety Lessons From Uncle Sam”

  1. deka says:

    thanks for the tips! it’s always good to be reminded of these things 🙂

  2. Charlene says:

    I remember someone telling me that in these Law & Order shows (like SVU), it’s usually the second person they ask that’s the perp. So apparently: if you’re a cop and asking questions, it’s always the second one you ask. No matter if they’re innocent or not, they’re the one.

    Enter my Thai Jewelry Giveaway!

  3. I wish I had that Law & Order abrupt “KA-GUM!!!” sound effect that would just sound randomly through out the day.

  4. stacy says:

    crime tip… stop backing up, the person with the knife is ALWAYS behind you!

  5. Jill says:

    Don’t you make a whistle?

    Happy Cuatro-th, chica!

  6. hiyaluv says:

    i needed a belly busting laugh this morning. thanks luv!


  7. Sheena says:

    Law and Order and Lifetime movies have made me especially paranoid of…well, everything! Hope you have a happy holiday and stay safe!

  8. enc says:

    I wonder if Waterston’s eyebrows reported to the unemployment office separately if they’d receive two sets of benefits instead of one?

  9. Emma says:

    I didn’t know any of these things. Amazing jewellery, fashion advice and safety information – what more could you want from a blog?

  10. Abi says:

    Thanks for all these lovely tips. Law and Order is just the show to watch! I wish I had more time to keep up with it.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog. Do come by more often 😉


  11. StefM says:

    the law & order theme might make a good ringer, no?

  12. Alicia says:

    I’m gonna miss you, Sam Waterson’s eyebrows!!!!!