Sunday, April 18, 2010
Warning: If Oscar-winning actor Jamie Foxx and the prime minister of Malaysia are dancing on stage together, move aside quickly. Ladies in pink head scarves will cut a bitch who gets in the way of their picture-taking.
I learned this the hard way on Friday at a dinner at The St. Regis hotel in honor of the first lady of Malaysia, or, as I call her for short, “Her Excellency Datin Paduka Seri Rosmah Mansor.” She was receiving the “International Peace and Harmony Inaugural Award 2010.” I accepted an invitation from my Malaysian designer friend Zang Toi, who was presenting a few gowns during the cocktail hour. It was only the day before the event that I took another look at the invitation and realized the gown presentation came during an “Islamic Fashion Festival.” Normally I don’t like to mix religion and fashion. I wouldn’t knowingly accept an invitation to an Islamic, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Amish, Quaker, Buddhist, Hindu or Eastern Orthodox Fashion Festival. I’d even skip the Agnostic and Atheist Fashion Festivals. I would, however, go to a Yearning for Zion Ranch Polygamist Fashion Festival. Who wouldn’t?
Yearning for Zion Ranch polygamist ladies rock pompadours and pastels. Click for photo source.
Having accepted the invitation, off I went, hoping alcohol would be served and that the Zang gown I was wearing wasn’t too revealing. I wound up clutching a glass of Champagne in a mixed-fashion crowd, while several designers sent out models who were covered from head to toe. In one case, the models’ faces were obscured with Lady-Gaga-in-Alexander-McQueen lace.
Lady Gaga at the 2009 MTV VMAs.
Zang’s work is often very sex-ay, but he covered up for the evening.
Zang Toi's model at the event. Sorry about the iPhone photo quality.
The head coverings on the slinky models reminded me of the time in high school when I draped a chiffon scarf over my head and slinked around the house, eventually passing my mother, who was on the phone. She paused in her conversation to note, “Here comes Wendy with a schmatte on her head.” I took off the scarf and slunk away.
After cocktails, we went in for dinner, where I was seated with a table of complete strangers. I’ve gotten used to this over the course of many charity awards dinners, so I set about making new friends. Most awards dinners in New York hotel ballrooms are held on weekdays and follow this pattern:
- Welcome from the emcee, who promises you’ll be out by 10 PM and that speeches will be kept short.
- Speeches, while guests eat the appetizer that was already set out on the table.
- Break for dinner.
- Dinner, during which people schmooze, often table-hopping.
- More speeches.
- Dessert, while speeches continue.
- 10 PM. The majority rises as if one organism and flees.
- Music and/or sponsored after-dinner drinks for the diehards.
These dinners are about networking, so the opportunity to have conversation is important. Music is kept to a minimum, unlike at weddings, bar/bat mitzvahs, Sweet 16s, quinceaneras and other family events, where the guest list inevitably includes that drunk uncle who bellows, “You’re all grown up!” while ogling teenagers’ breasts. At those family events, you don’t want your other guests to talk to the drunk uncle, who will likely be punched out or arrested if anyone realizes what he’s saying, so you have lots of loud music. If people aren’t eating, they should be dancing. If they’re not eating or dancing, they should be saying, “What? What?” to their seatmates.
Much to my surprise, the Malaysian event wasn’t a typical awards dinner. It was like a wedding, bar/bat mitzvah, Sweet 16 and quinceanera all rolled up into one. I was awestruck. Jamie Foxx was the host and fully deserves an all-expenses-paid trip to Malaysia for his hard work. The music included the always-excellent Boys Choir of Harlem (who all looked like they were in their mid-30s, as Jamie pointed out, calling them the “Boys-to-Men Choir”); pop star Leona Lewis; and more traditional wedding-type singers.
Security scolded me for taking this iPhone picture of Leona Lewis.
When the magic hour of 10 P.M. rolled around, and we hadn’t even been served an entree, I decided to throw caution to the wind and stay. Good thing I did because Jamie Foxx was THE emcee of all time, managing to:
- perform a flirty karaoke version of “You’ve Got a Friend” with Her Excellency Datin Paduka Seri Rosmah Mansor;
- dance with Malaysia’s prime minister, which made the head-scarf-wearing ladies GO WILD;
- drag Robert De Niro, Charlize Theron, Emmy Rossum and a host of others onstage for “We Are the World”;
- run to all the front tables, exhorting us to, “Put your hands in the air!”
And I did! I put my hands in the air like I just didn’t care! I’m a good multitasker, so while all this was going on, I was still able to ponder to whom I should write to guarantee that Jamie emcee all future Academy Awards broadcasts and every late-night chat show. After dinner, we trooped to the after-party but I left before the karaoke screens got any use. I bet people are still there singing.
Sadly, MrB was traveling and missed this. He would have loved it even more than I did. Plus, he was unavailable to take my outfit picture. I don’t have a tripod, but I balanced my camera on a piece of furniture and took a picture of most of me.
Velvet gown: Zang Toi (2007)
Necklace: Gloriana by Wendy Brandes
Other jewelry: Mine
Curly hair styled by Julie Matos
I worried that this wouldn’t be considered a proper outfit post because I didn’t take a picture of my shoes, which were the gold Louis Vuittons I wear with everything. But that turned out to be for the best, because I don’t have very nice feet. It’s true! After seeing a photo of my foot in my Miu Miu clogs with the daisy pattern, gorgeous 19-year-old Swedish/Chinese blogger Stephanie decided to get Miu Miu clogs with the swallow print instead. My feet gave her a bad feeling about the daisies. Or, as she put it, “Ok after seeing photos of the daisy clog here I think maybe the gold swallows are on top 
:D:D:” I was briefly dismayed that my foot-modeling career ended before it even began, but I’ll always have my hand-modeling career. Don’t cry for me, Malaysia!
you have the most beautiful smile. shine!
How on earth one knows what to wear for an event of this sort boggles the mind – but you are PERFECTLY dressed for this occasion.
And I would have loved that surreality – Jamie Fox MCing?!
You look soo beautiful Wendy and your hair is just fabulous!
Twitter: PunkGlamQueen
says:
You look gorgeous! But where was Zoolander?
XXX
Suzanne
I think that your feet look adorable in those cute clogs!
Sounds like a fabulous evening. Your dress is amazing.
Oh my god, that party sounds like a hoot! Wow, how fun – nothing like the party I was at last night, where the highlight was…um…me? In my fancy dress!
You look absolutely gorgeous, Wendy, from your dress and jewelry, to your lovely hair and trademark fab smile!
you look gorgeous with the dress and hair!
bummer you didn\’t get jaime foxx and the prime minsiter… that sounds high-larious!
WoW!
You look so gorgeous! Just like a big,beautiful Hollywood-Diva
I love your flair Wendy. And the dress looks gorgeous. Thanks for the tips on party going.
Ooooh, me thinks you’re showing too much skin. You harlet! But, you look absolutely beautiful!
I had to look up the word quinceaneras! Ha, I keep thinking of 16 Candles — “Look Frank, she’s gotten her boobies.”
Your necklace is stunning.
Zang’s dress is beautiful, but I am dying to rip off the long sleeves and slice a high slit up the leg! But, I would probably be stoned to death if I did.
Wendy- you are lookin’ mighty pretty & sassy in your lovely dress, red lips, and curls!
PS. Such a gorgeous smile
.
The Malaysian Prime Minister, seriously???
‘Mogatu’s a dick, he’s trying to kill the claymation dude!’.
- Owen Wilson in ‘Zoolander’
Twitter: WendyBrandes
says:
Eric & Suzanne, I know…I should have worn Derelicte!
Thanks for this snippet of the glamourous life of WendyB! From what you described, the benefit party circuit is full of surprises!
And the award for most original/obscure/worlds-are-colliding fashion content goes to Wendy B!
Twitter: BonBonRoseGirls
says:
What was that fetus talking about? There is nothing wrong with your tootsies. And you looked beautiful in that gown!
You look gorgeous! The party sounds like it was an unusual and unexpectedly good time.
That was the best post! And it sounds like the best party too.
I was going to comment, but I’m too distracted by my captcha…because my captcha is “ladyboy.”
You already know about my fixation with trannies, Rupaul, and Rupaul’s Drag Race, so forgive me while I go ahead and sing Ladyboy and dance in my chair with a piece of coned leather strapped to my head invoking the awesomeness of Ongina.
you look amazing, and all your jewels are gorgeous!
i am from utah, and every time i go back to visit i get great glimpses of polygamists. they are quite creative with their outfits and hair styles i must say.
xxx
t
Hi there-sounds like a totally awesome and amazing event and as always, you look so stunning and your dress is just beautiful!!
You looked smashing for a formal event with the Malaysian top officials. I saw some ministers wife on the background of the pic you tweeted. When it comes to these events, it is better to be underdressed than over (them top women don’t like competition. I know, it’s easy to see why – you were there last night, so you don’t need me to explain, don’t you?), the security can be abrupt sometimes I wish they’d realize they’re not that hot/protecting someone that hot and Malaysian’s always win in terms of NOT going with the usual patterns.
That karaoke thing, OMG I can’t believe they brought it with them halfway across the world??!!! In short, Malaysian government functions are boring mostly because you can’t dress wild and you have to follow ridiculous time! The rest of us are not like that, I’m happy to report
Brilliant despite being the person with feet that send others to purchase the alternatives!
Gorgeous dress and hair. The descriptions and inof makes me feel like I was there. What a fab entertaining evening – go on put your hands up in the air!
That Gloriana necklace is absolutely stunning and Zang Toi’s velvet gown is equally captivating with its ornate front. For me though the Gloriana necklace would have greater impact if worn with a less decorated gown.
Twitter: WendyBrandes
says:
Funny, you should say that, Munique, because as I was getting dressed that day, I decided I needed to do a post on how usual jewelry rules don’t apply to a designer showing her work. Stay tuned. Hopefully it will be this week.
Will look forward to that post Wendy. Thanks
You look breathtaking, absolutely stunning! The evening sounds quite interesting as well
-Marta
wow love your outfit and iit sounds like such a fun night too.
The Gloriana necklace is one of my absolute favorites of yours. It’s so gorgeous. I love the ornate treatment on the dress. You have such flair in your photo. What’s not to love about it. The evening sounds so much fun.
i love how perfectly your piece works with the dress! you look beautiful!
Eh, that blogger wouldn’t know good feet if they kicked her in the butt!
I love this look for you. Dress, hair, makeup, pose, everything!
What a fun night!
Wendy, you look gorgeous. I love your necklace!
You look gorgeous–and adore that dress.
Lovah the whole Lookah!
That was so much fun to read! Thanks Wendy B!
Twitter: maddytweetz
says:
Gorgeous dress! The eastern look is great on you
And of course, you always bring your best accessory along – your gorgeous smile and red lipstick!
oh, you look fabulous, as always!
have a lovely week, xoxo
wow! what an amazing night! and you can handle these networking events like a champ! i’d be a nervous basket case.
i hear you on the feet thing. i got a pedicure on sunday and took pics of my feet in new shoes and WISELY decided not to post them. my heels aren’t all that and need a lot more scrubbing and filing than that little lady did on sunday! bah. so gross.
You are HILARIOUS! I need to visit this blog more often.
You look perfect in your velvet gown!
Well, you can feel bad for me if you’d like 
LOL at your feet comment. GAH, my toes are like french fries so don’t feel so bad
What a seriously crazy night! I think your dress was perfect though. We have several friends in Kuala Lumpur and they dress as they would in a Western Country. Here in Qatar it’s another story entirely…
We’re Malaysians, and most Muslim Malaysians will understand that guests will show some skin at events like these. (I’m a Buddhist btw)
All we knew is that our First Lady got the award, but we had no idea Jamie Foxx was the emcee and he danced with our Prime Minister! Awesome
http://www.elements-magazine.com/
Oh, and Malaysia is NOT like what is was in ‘Zoolander’
http://www.elements-magazine.com/
Twitter: WendyBrandes
says:
Elements, love that you came across this blog to give the local perspective. And glad I was able to report something new to you!
honey have you seen my size 11(u.s)/9(UK) feet lately? anything is better than my feet are cute! you are you have fab feet!
the event sounded so interesting,what a great mix of people! from Jamie Foxx as emcee to Leona Lewis performing,sounds like it was quite a do.
I think you were the belle of the ball! the gown,hair & jewelry just worked PERFECTLY. you looked beautiful Wendy!!
big kiss
xx
marian
You’re welcome, Wendy!
We told our friends about Jamie Foxx and our PM dancing together. We’re all dying for pics! Too bad there aren’t any.
Oh, and followed you on Twitter
Wendy, you look absolutely stunning…sounds like a great time!
I am a firm believer in more is more…I wouldn’t have taken the necklace off.
You are such a funny chica! Love the dress…kind of has a Fortuny feel to it. Sounds like a fun night. Far better than the fundraisers here!
honey wishing you a glam day
xoxo
marian.
Wendy,
That was a hilarious blog!! If you go to the “Polygamist” fashion community,
may I join you?
I think I need to go and really scope out the hair. That would require a lot of
studying. Hence, I think you might want to get into one of those dresses for one
of your very fancy parties and we can copy the hairstyle. I am sure on some blurred creative surge, some “fashionista” must have given it a whirl. But, can you wear any of your jewelry? I think forbidden!!!!
[...] blog postings and Tweets on the event talk about how well Foxx warmed the party up. One blogger, who attended the event, wrote that Foxx performed a “flirty” karaoke version of You’ve Got [...]
[...] makes the following observations even more disturbing than it would be normally, although you should really read the whole (amusing) [...]
Cry for Malaysia, pleeeeease.
It’s going to the dogs.