Outfit Post, Almost Starring Jude and Sienna

I was amused to read that actors and ex-lovebirds Jude Law and Sienna Miller were spotted last week at the restaurant Emporio, home of my favorite peach sangria.

Jude and Sienna back in the day, before his affair with the nanny broke them up. Not the Fran Drescher nanny. A regular one.

My former employer, People.com, earnestly quotes a restaurant source as saying that couple opted to sit out front rather than in a “private seat in the back of the restaurant” as they shared a pizza and a $350 bottle of red wine.

I was at Emporio with my gorgeous friend Rachel last night. Look for a report on that on People.com. It should appear there when hell freezes over. While you wait for that sign of global cooling, I will share a few bits of pertinent information. First of all, there ARE no private seats in the back of the restaurant. It’s a big open room where anyone can look right at you. A chick at the next table over, for instance, threw a shank-eye at Rachel and me as we discussed my vintage Todd Oldham skirt and Todd’s career woes. Bitch, please! It’s not my fault that Todd lost that Old Navy sinecure after 17 months.

Secondly, anyone who orders a $350 bottle of red wine at Emporio has more money than sense. It’s not the kind of place where you go for a $350 bottle of red wine. I wasn’t sure that there was a $350 bottle of wine on the wine list at all, but I forgot to check because I was traumatized by the discovery that peach sangria season is over. It is now red sangria season at Emporio. Beware! The red sangria is good but turns your tongue purple.

I kept my purple tongue out of my outfit photo in order to keep the focus on my velvet Oldham skirt. The over-the-knee Manolo boots are a few years old. Jean of Ghost Tailor altered the J. Crew sweater for me. The Virginia Woolf Whistle necklace is my own design.

I wasn't in a picture-taking mood, but I made the sacrifice for you peeps.

One thing I’m sure is not on Emporio’s menu is this taste-bud thriller spotted by a friend traveling in Asia.

Diet Cock. Because, as Kate Moss says, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels."

Neither is this special drink, photographed by gorgeous blogger Annie at Buckshot in San Francisco.

The drink itself knocks you out. No Roofies required.

No matter what your poison — $350 wine, tongue-coloring sangria, Diet or Classic Cock, or something that packs a real punch — I think we can all agree on one issue: You need to vote for me to win the Blog With the Most Swearing, Blog That is Clearly Contracted to Endorse a Product or Service, and Blogger of the Year categories in the prestigious Drysdale awards right now. Click here to do it.