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Thursday, February 19, 2009

To the person who came to my blog by searching for “cheapskate > doesn’t want to buy engagement ring”: Don’t marry him.

Ring © Wendy Brandes
Photography by SquareMoose

In general, I advise against marriage if a potential spouse inspires you to Google things such as “cheapskate,” “liar,” or “goddamned motherfucking asshole.”
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34 Responses to “Unasked-For Advice”

  1. Alicia/InstantVintage says:

    Very good advice indeed.

    Today I saw a search on my blog for “tried to kill self in front of computer.”

    I’m still deciding on whether or not to be offended. LOL.

  2. TheSundayBest says:

    Fuck that fuck. He needs to read Eat Pray Love. Oh man…I am so geeking out on that book.

    By a freaky coincidence, my captcha is “bride.” I am not lying and am taking a screenshot to prove it.

  3. Alyssa says:

    That reminds me of this short web film that was made from some anonymous lady’s search terms:

  4. Birdie! says:

    HEAR HEAR! If you have to start thinking about whether or not YOU would buy YOURSELF one, you’re probably in the wrong place!


  5. Marian says:

    this is hilarious but so well said!!

  6. Girl Japan says:

    haha ,Right on, it IS the WHOLE package when you marry someone!

    As of recent these are my search keywords today–

    meat the fokers
    what is an hbg?
    amazing lasagna
    ebank advantages japan gaijinpot
    vintage wedding cake brown pic
    full figure vintage dress
    japan mansion
    japanese girl smoking weed

    meat the fokers… okay?

  7. TheShoeGirl says:



  8. Sharon Rose says:

    Hi there-great advice and lets hope your stunning jewellery makes the cheapskate realise he’s needs a piece of WendyB jewellery!!

  9. Jordana says:

    Hahaha, it was my boyfriend…I’m sure. J/K This post just made my night! You’re a delight!

  10. i devour fashion says:

    you crack me up, Wendy! i’m glad my hubby may be fashionably clueless but not cheap. anyway, i’m drooling on this ring now. Wendy, Wendy, Wendy….hmmm you really make me think…should i travel or not?

    btw, hope you won’t mind us exchanging links?


  11. Deja Pseu says:

    Great advice, and I adore that ring. When I win the lottery, I’m going to have you make me one in brushed gold. 😉

  12. Alice Olive says:

    Really, Wendy, you have to learn to express an opinion….!

    That’s a stunning ring, by the way, and I don’t usually go for sparkle on my baubles.

  13. coco says:

    So funny. Ever thought of having an advice section on the blog? You would give the best (and funniest) advice.
    Also I doubt Rodarte sells much either, but they are so gifted I hope they can keep going.

  14. Jill says:

    I’m with ya girlie! Nothings worse than a cheap man!

  15. fashion herald says:

    No wonder they kvell, what a beautiful ring.

  16. enc says:

    You’d think that kind of jerk wouldn’t want his girl to Google those things, lest his picture come up in the results.

  17. stef m says:

    too f-ing funny

  18. Prunella Jones says:

    Exactly. That’s why I don’t want to get married, you have to put up with someone else’s annoying personality traits for life. I’d happily get engaged though, in order to get my hands on that ring.

  19. Miss Janey says:

    Marry one of them… NO. Accept jewelry from them, well- that’ another matter. Except “cheapskate”. Who needs jewelry that turns your finger?

  20. Nina (femme rationale) says:

    hi wendy! can you please shoot me an email? i would like to ask u something…thanks! 🙂


  21. The Clothes Horse says:

    Now what on earth are you really looking for when you google that…

  22. alixrose says:

    Good advice indeed.

    I am apt to give my date 10 questions, if he passes then I will continue the date, if not.. I will walk out. I gave him a chance, and now we both wouldn’t have wasted our time.

    Ok I DON’T do that, but if I did how badass would that be!

  23. Grant Miller says:

    Oops! That was me!

  24. Swell Vintage - Frankie says:

    If I ever find a man who’s crazy enough to take me on full-time, I’ll be sending him your way for sure! x

  25. janettaylor says:

    Hi WendyB,

    LOL and amazing!

    Have a great weekend: Janet

  26. Thumbelina Fashionista says:

    Ha ha! Tell it, sister! (I hope men are also reading this.)

  27. Iheartfashion says:

    Sound advice Wendy!

  28. citysage says:

    The possibilties for humour from google searches are endless! Some recent favourites that have landed at my blog include “20 dollar couch”, “big white poof” and “MUFFEN PORNO” (spelled like that, in all caps).

    my fave was when you shared your google hit for ‘what were anne boleyn’s initials’—I STILL crack up when i remember that!

  29. Alya says:

    EW! What an a-hole! I suggest the lady (I’m assuming she’s a lady) to make the idiot listen to “Single Ladies”. It worked for Beyonce didn’t it?

  30. Jen (MahaloFashion) says:

    I love the modern look.

  31. Duchesse says:

    A man who’s financially cheap will be emotionally cheap. On the other hand, I turned down an ER once, because I did not want a sad little ring (all he could afford), nor did I want to plunge him into debt (which he was willing to do.) A gorgeous ring is a job but not if the timing isn’t right.

  32. swelledenise says:

    I just blew snot.